I would release it to Wikileaks.

Dude in the back seat is like wuuuut

...because obviously they did a poor job in raising their son. I’m a guy...I would be embarrassed if she or my sister knew I was sending pics of my wang doodle to women I don’t know.

Let’s be honest, genitals are strange looking; why would you want that to be the first pic you send to someone? Why not just put the camera behind you, spread your buttcheeks and take a snapshot of your turd slicer?! I mean, if you’re wanting your first contact to be disgusting, why not go all out?!

Eww, nigga u gay!

So you ate the restaurant owner’s bukkake?

Stupid shoe.

Her lawyer was actually her aunt, so it all basically stays in the family anyway.

Don’t let the facts of the case get in the way of you passing judgment.

It happened off campus after they met off campus at a bar. What responsibility did the university have again?

Yeah. I must say that I was a little disappointed. He should have at least gotten head.

...so they just like to waste the court’s time so they have trouble fitting into their docket cases that are much more important?

I want to see something less than the size of my thumb trying to peel an orange. Shit, I’m 41 years-old and I have trouble with those little things.

Just remember that, when all of this Trump craziness is over, the #2 guy Ted Cruz thinks abortion should be illegal even in the case of rape, incest and when the mother’s life is in jeopardy....so you should probably start getting used to saying President Clinton again.

That’s very inventive.

...I don’t mean to be a misogynist, but- come on! To get that many nasty texts from a guy where you can write a song? And that’s the stuff she could use! There might be a few texts she declined to use because they didn’t work well...we don’t really know.

Maybe she’s giving the thumbs down because she sent more than one invitation.

I’m sorry, but if she received this many texts from the same guy, I’m thinking she was either leading him on or she was afraid to go to the cops because she has outstanding warrants.

I’ll admit it, I was the guy who ordered a $5.99 sandwich...but I gave the guy a $20 tip and thanked him as if he saved my life. He seemed pleased and I even offered him some hot tea.

“On my life, I have never and would never steal a joke...”