This is the only thing I want to talk about today. The Truck Fucking urge is starting to percolate into all facets of society. Have you ever had sex in a truck? Let me tell you, it’s one of the least sexy vehicle options. We all know it only ranks slightly higher than a mini-van.

No, dogs are just inadequate cats.

And like dogs, my cats seem to know when I’m getting upset, and they’ll come check on me, and sit on my lap until I feel better.

As a current owner of 3 cats, and a previous owner of many dogs, I disagree. Cats are quite adequate. They beg for my food, tell me when they need to be fed, let me know when someone is at the door before there’s a knock, and they even tell me when I need to clean their litter box. Loki in particular, will meow at…

I’m afraid the best they can hope for is being featured as “Pancakes of the Month” on a Cooking Channel episode.

Khloe’s identity is wrapped up in constantly losing 15 lbs and telling you all about it.

Cascadia

I live in Oregon, and I support a secession of the western states (OR, WA, CA) to form Pacifica.
If that doesn’t work, I’d like Canada to adopt us as Canada’s ballsack (look at the geography).

Tough shit. I’m tired of being Captain Save-a-Ho to the rest of the knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing country. It’s not MY job to drag you kicking and screaming into the 20th century.

Am I the only one who really doesn’t like Tina Fey? I don’t like her complete devotion to Jimmy Fallon. She cannot be objective at all and should stop coming to his rescue. Most of all, I cannot stand how 90% of her comedy is built around being awkward and making fun of women. She hasn’t ever shown that she’s really…

Their dicks fell off (probably because a woman wrote words on the Internet)

No. 2 on your list is a reeeeaaaally good reason this country is so divided. If you yell. If you call names. No one listens to you. You are a just a crazy person (no matter which side of the debate) yelling. It’s the same in your relationships at home or in the workplace. Yelling doesn’t win fights. It makes animosity…

If you’re willing to be the back half of a moose, I’ve got a plan...

Is there a Nower Now photo somewhere?