You must’ve been pretty hammered, because his game log on B-Ref shows no such game against the Yankees in 2000.

Red Sox lore has it that Rico Brogna is buried deep underneath first base. Supposedly, you can still hear his screams on a crisp fall night at Fenway.

Fake mooned. Never forget that Joe Buck lost his shit over a fake moon.

Oh sure, they won’t let a murderer on their shows anymore, but they’re fine with a guy who mooned all of Green Bay.

As a Boston scumbag, I look forward to smoking a pack of Parliaments and drunkenly pissing myself on that bench.

Well apparently people can’t dislike Radiohead without being dipshits about it either.

Oh there’s no question he’s an ass. He was a bit more goofy and fun when he came up in 2005, but he’s morphed over the years into dumb redneck redass moron who says and does dumb things. Not as charming at 35 as it was at 23.

Papelbon hasn’t been a member of the Red Sox for 5 years. The rest of us have moved on.

I like how Nomar is a real name now for Latin dudes. Ramon Garciaparra was a genius.

Did you hear about this via tips@deadspin.com?

No way that bike race is in Brooklyn. All the riders’ bike wheels are the same size.

Never thought that I would regret turning down an invitation to watch a fixed wheel bicycle race held on a Saturday night but here we are.

You would think this the incredibly obvious step but, well, here we are.

“If you’re going to smoke weed out of a bong, keep the gasmask on.”

Documented shit-eating:

SOMEONE PLEASE RESCUE KATIE NOLAN

I’ve composed a poem/insane person rant using all of Drew’s all caps words:

Sad that he finally died, but not entirely unexpected. Kevin Garnett diagnosed him with cancer years ago.

hey! I remember that 3! somebody made it into a “Where Amazing Happens” video and I think Simmons posted it in a column or something back in the day.

Charles Barkley called it “the worst possession in the history of basketball.”