First, this was 20 years ago. Second, I was a broke as shit graduate student. That $5 Sunday edition was blood money.

I confronted the guy whole habitually stole my newspapers once, and it almost collapsed into violence. After concluding that throwing hands over the NY Times was unwise, I moved on. I mention this because I cannot square the knowledge of potential violence over a paper with someone feeling emboldened to throw a man’s…

“matching bespoke hat crown”

White guy, with an 8 year old and a 6 year old. Out of 14 total birthday parties, my kids have chosen to have at least 4 at the local C.E.C. Kids love it, it’s simple, and is always frequented by a diverse clientele. I think it’s great.

“developed a special cannabis strain dubbed “Markle’s Sparkle” in honor of the big day.”

Thank you. Being a white dude, the current era has provoked in me a review of any and all interactions that I’ve had with women and POC over the course of my entire life. Like I never would have thought in the above situation that it would have been a problem, but what if the cops had come in blazing? Presumably, they…

I hereby submit my actions to the judgement of The Root’s readership:

I have never understood this. We fought 2 wars so we wouldn’t have to deal with the Brits, and the vagaries of the royal family, so why do we care now? It frightens me, the bottomless interest some people show in the royals, because it shows a love for subservience ingrained somewhere in their DNA.

I would have thought that being a serial abuser and general pile of shit while STILL being able to make money would have proved that before the video poker. Go figure.

Carolyn Bryant toasts Sarah Page in Hell.

I propose that we name this the “Mayella Ewell Trophy.”

Have you ever manslaughtered? Because let me tell you, the number one thing you need after taking another human’s life through carelessness and rank stupidity is a crisp chardonnay.

The difference is more obvious if you go their website.

But still horrifying, particularly for me because at the time, I thought nothing of it.

This is a 100% percent true story. My sister, and a group of her sorority sisters were out tearing it up. They were at a resort area where the cops typically wait outside for the inevitable khaki-clad fisticuffs.

I’m white, so the nuances of Beckies are normally quite obvious. But the good doctors had been process through the Whitewash 3000, eliminating any markers that would have tipped me off.

A quick review of the their website tells me that the women pictured are the dentists! I can only assume that they collectively decided that this was an awesome idea after slamming rose and eating appetizers at the local Bonefish.

Wait, that’s three different women? Now even I can’t tell them apart. This is going to make things difficult.

“No person, art form or emotion ever transcends race without giving snatching a piece of itself from black people and handing itself over to the white masses.”

“And don’t want to share.”