Just because Roger Goodell (and Peter King!) sees fit to eat at Skyline Chili no matter how godawful a place it is doesn’t make it a serious option as a place to eat, so I think it’s totally fair to say that London’s not a serious option to play football even though the NFL tries to force it down our throats.

The big thing is it looks like Joe Bob or whatever his name is will be staying at OC and Austin is staying at DC. Caldwell can handle press conferences and announcing names of fifth rounders at the draft just fine.

That section of Eight Mile in that picture has to be somewhere outside of Detroit city limits. All across the city limits it’s a major road, something like four or five lanes in each direction. Maybe that photo was taken out west in Northville or something?

London isn’t a serious option, but it’s never been a serious option for hosting games in the first place. Goodell is somehow convinced that it makes sense to try to colonize England and dammit instead of spending time on concussions and lousy officials, he’s trying to figure out how to get a franchise in London.

Can someone explain the Throwgasm graphic to me? I’m sure I’m stupid. The football looks like a dong, but the sperm are pointing toward it, which makes no sense. Someone untangle this mystery for me, please.