Trainer, pointing to his face: “That’s a Hech-av-a-mark there.”

This season, Heimlich has once again been pretty great for the Beavers

That one’s easy. “HAM-ez duh-NYE-ulls”

Stanton hit that ball so far

Let he who doesn’t chop his parmesan cheese with a credit card cast the first stone.

I Cte what you mean.

preach it my friend. bartman did nothing fucking wrong — he reached for a ball that was coming toward him which is literally what every fan would do and can she tell i’m looking at her pictures on facebook even though we aren’t friends and WHY MARISSA WHY YOU WERE THE ONE!!!!

Husky and Starch

It’s the American way. We love underdogs until they win.

Apparently Ranaan was touched by the apology note he received:

He thought “beat writer” was a command.

Kicking Nets across the league are fired up. “Cundiff still owes us one,” said one NFLKNA spokesman.

A sad Travolta, obviously.

Wrong. The Vice President is a CRUCIAL pick because of it’s importance as a stepping stone to the Presidency. It has to be a flashy and sexy pick so that person can glide into being POTUS after their 8 year VP stint

Welcome to Jalopnik, Mr. Pence.