Her consultants warned her not to pick the banjo.

“Porn Star has non-disclosure agreement with the POTUS”

...with a woman who says she had sex with Donald Trump while he was married.

I used to work at a bar in that area too. St P’s is easily the worst day of the year - endless fighting, puking, boyfriends screaming at girlfriends, and it is SO LONG. Big crowds by 2pm and going til close - though, there was always a weird synchronized lull from like 7-8:30, when it seemed like everybody went home…

The Wrigleyville police ticker that gets posted after St. Patrick’s Day ranks up there with Deadspin’s annual “Stuff We Put In Our Bodies” post. It is the stuff of magic. I’m so glad I never ate at that McDonald’s when it was still open.

I’ll be honest, I don’t think I could get drunk enough or high enough to actually tolerate that.

Believe me when I tell you: I’ve seen that level. Saw a guy ask his friend for the time. His friend tips his wrist to examine his watch, but it happened to be the same hand his pint of beer was in. Tipped it all in his lap. Stuff like that all the time.

I’m starting to suspect that our criminal justice system might not be all its cracked up to be!

You’ve got to listen to me! Elementary Chaos Theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok in an orgy of blood and kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving. Fortunately, according to my calculations, the robots won’t go berserk for at least…

She also seems really, really stupid.

He’s scum, but like Jordan Belfort, he’s self-made scum.

The Rocketeer was one of the best superhero movies ever. Fight me.

T.J. Miller was my favourite William Shatner show of the 80's.

Well, that and the funnel webs, red backs, brown snakes, taipans, blue ringed octopi, box jellyfish, cone snails, boxing kangaroos, scythe toed cassowaries, and syphilitc koalas.

She tried to time a fart with the applause and almost got more than what she bargained for.

I was coming on here to specifically comment on that scene. The best part is, you immediately understand how it happened—Hepburn has spent the whole movie casually steamrolling over everyone in her path, so we have to imagine that the wild leopard is just as surprised and unprepared for being captured by her as Cary…

It’s not that the president is liar- you kind of expect that of politicians, to a point- it’s that he is a bullshitter.

My favorite cut in the movie is Grant at Hepburn’s apartment refusing to believe there is a leopard there, walking into the bedroom and seeing Baby, letting out a scream and immediately retreating, and Hepburn telling him complacently, “that’ll teach you to go around saying things about people.”

Yeah, I was fairly late to BuB, and was slightly stunned by it. I’d expected The Philadelphia Story and got Duck Soup.

I’m moving further away from football, but I’ll be damned if soccer is going to fill that void.