Just imagine how more argrily he would reacted if he wasn’t such a devout Christian*, you know, because of all the forgiveness and such...

Slayer’s fanbase is generally pretty cool, but there is a small, but outsized, strain of neo-nazis dickheads that go to shows to get in fights and fuck people up. The band may publicly disavow those folks, but their merch is very nazi-analogous. Tom and Kerry are dicks.  Jeff was money. 

Do you also tell time with a sundial?

Yes, and driving directions are offered by convenient foldable maps. No Google Maps required.

A well constructed spreadsheet is like a puzzle you both created and solved. You are correct to take pride in your work.  

Not always.  I sometimes use HLookup.  And I do it quite well.

Fair enough, bad analysts create bad spreadsheets. No argument here.

The real stories here are that Woody Harrelson (a) wore a suit to (b) watch a doubles tennis match while (c) on ecstacy.

“A semicolon’s main purpose is to connect two independent clauses. These are both fully formed statements that could each stand alone with their own periods.”

Especially for a pivot guy

You not only don’t know what birds of prey are, you also don’t know what funny is.

Counterpoint: the kid is 5 or 6, so why would he have any reason to believe those birds are anything more than the “flying rats” we call them. 

You may want to brush up on what a “bird of prey” is.  Spoiler: not a pigeon.

I am just an unfrozen caveman lawyer, and your ways and customs confuse me, but how was that kick only “near-perfect”? Because it hit the cross bar?

Right foot was in the restricted area.  Should have been called for a blocking foul.

Among golfers, Phil was absolutely more popular than Tiger until Tiger’s comeback found some footing this year. Tiger was more watched in his prime - because you had to watch him, he was just that damn good. But in golf circles, nobody was rooting for him. Phil was a tragic hero until he finally won his first major,…

The correct answer is Van Halen

Be careful what you wish for. When he was elected, the first thing I thought of was that when he died he will be given a state funeral, and how sickening that would be.

Given that you are a lifelong Duke fan, I am not surprised that you

Not being a grammar dick, here, but I am dying to know where “of skewer” came from. It can’t be a spell-check issue; perhaps you were using voice recognition?