Now I have “Reasons to Be Cheerful” stuck in my head. Which has a good a line to dissmiss these dorks as any I’ve heard:

Yes, yes, dear dear, perhaps next year, or maybe... even... never!

It’s 2.0 because this time instead of just the one percenters, the benefits will be spread among the top 2%!

I’ve talked to people on crack who make more sense than Kudlow.

Not saving us from Trump?  That’s Peak Mets.

To think that we almost lost him to baseball, if the Mets had managed to convince him to turn pro and join their organization.

Trump has the same photographic memory as Homer Simpson

Someone saw him playing tennis, called him the Michelin man and he misheard it. This has to have happened more than once, so by virtue of it being said to him multiple times he thought nobody was called a “Michigan” man more so therefore he’s the Michigan man of the year! 

If Trump wasn’t a traitorous white supremacist grounding our country into the pavement, there’d be an almost endearing Baron Munchausen quality to the man. One day a visitor at one of his hotels or casinos, who happens to own a used car dealership in a small town in Michigan, pays Trump some benign compliment, and…

He is one of those guys who you know insists he is “totally not angry, just finds it interesting.” at least a dozen times a day.

And if it HAS to be a specific song, couldn’t it be “Just A Gigolo?”

I live in Brooklyn and can confirm that many of the people here are insufferable (mostly the hipster wannabee transplants).

Brooklyn is actually home to many of the most provincial people in America. This podcast circle-jerk will soon drown in Prospect Park Lake (because where else is there?)

Increasingly, I think the single greatest thing about living in the Midwest is that there is no reason I’d ever have to learn about fake leftists from Brooklyn who start podcasts after their standup careers fail. It’s very freeing.

One thing I hate about writers is when they write something that causes a swift and broad backlash, and their defense is “You misunderstood what I meant,” as if that is a valid defense for a person whose job it is to convey ideas to third-parties via the written word. I write for a living, and if someone who is…

If you’re a conservative, not rich, and voted Dump, you’re a fool. Seriously. He’s not for you. He doesn’t care about you. In fact he doesn’t give a rat’s rear about you. All he cares about is how much you’ll cheer for him at his creepy wannabe-Nuremberg rallies. That’s it.

Trump is pretty much everyone’s nightmare everything. He is literally the worst everything. President, father, businessman, husband, employer, human being, ad infinitum. What is he not a nightmare at?

How can you criticize a guy who is always pulling for his teammates?

Jesus! Even more evidence of Russia meddling with our erections.

He’s so obviously (and sadly) picking a bunch of shit to pretend to be good at that Donnie could not possibly fucking care less about. Dada Trump wouldnt climb a fuckin’ mountain if there was a bucket of Ivankas pussy waiting for him at the top.

He’s got a voice for radio and a face for print.