A Cone of Heat was the title to my 1999 David Cone erotica novel. Let's just say he was perfect a few times that summer.

To paraphrase the once amusing Dennis Miller, ‘ I haven’t seen security that slow since the Lee Harvey Oswald prison transfer’.

Bus stops are the worst for this. The entire reason you are at the stop is to get on the bus, yet you are somehow surprised and unprepared when it arrives? 

Any drive-thru, in front of me:

Its been my experience that nothing good ever happens when you wait until the last minute to start pulling things out.

“Back when I played we were more concerned about my blood and yellow humours. Each team had a phenologist that traveled with them to measure our propensities for the given road trip.”

He’s right about people in general, not just golfers. They don’t think ahead while in line. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a TSA security line and half the people walk up to the podium and only then start pulling out their ID and boarding pass. Or they don’t get out the credit card at the store until all…

“They didn’t have Gatorade when I played,” Royals manager Ned Yost recalled. “No, we didn’t have the knowledge about hydration back then. It was take a couple salt pills and drink a little bit of water. We didn’t know anything about hydrating.”

I went to see a series in Atlanta over 4th of July weekend in the old Atlanta Fulton County Stadium. My dad knew someone that knew someone in grounds keeping, so we had seats about 15 rows up right behind home plate. It was a Sunday afternoon game, so it was hotter than death.

Air it all out!

Yost may be an expert on the Apollo program, but he played from 1980 - 85. They definitely had Gatorade in the early 80's. They knew about the importance of hydration. It wasn’t the 19th century.

Yep. And also vodka

Man It’s a Hot One . . .

Wow, yeah, it’s almost as if the entire NCAA system places the burden of loyalty completely on the players. While also stripping those players of any earning power. Who knew?

Are you kidding? It’s a firm commitment with the very minor and narrow exceptions of poor academic performance, injury, not being good, annoying a coach, or improperly prioritizing academics over football.

*whispers* Click the link in the last line of my story.

You see, this is different though. The window to make money coaching college football is finite. You need to maximize it as much as possible. Whereas the window to make money actually playing football is limitless. These guys can go their whole lives throwing and running. 

Fuck Nick Saban.

We make commitments to players for four years

And now we have, I don’t know—at one point in time there were 65 waivers that were given in a year.