I’d say Kansas or Vanderbilt, but Kansas is maybe kinda trending towards not being putrid at the moment.

Ku

Well, yes, but again: those are home runs, they’re pitches hit out of the field of play. That was a marathon distance, which is what running a marathon entails. 2 Hours is such an incredible barrier, such a daunting feat to reach, even approach, that his official world record is less than 2 minutes off of it. And even…

Running a marathon distance is sort of the definition of running a marathon. 

Under optimal conditions, our goal is to see if we can get this person out of bed in under two hours, to see if it’s even humanly possible.

Yes, really. The point of choosing this course, of getting together a team to give him favorable conditions that are all but categorically impossible in an open race, intentionally creating better-than-ideal conditions is to see if, even under those constraints, a marathon under 2 hours was at all possible. When you…

If the sport I followed was an entire ocean away, I’d front-run like a motherfucker. I’d kill to not be stuck waiting for the Chiefs to kick me square in the dick as soon as January rolls around.

These spineless politicians are doing the exact same thing 45 did regarding NFL players kneeling.

Can’t wait for the inevitable Trump tweet tomorrow calling AOC and Cruz “LOSERS” and insisting this thing be handled by @DennisRodman.

This is likely the biggest mistake I’ve ever made on Kinja, but god help me, here I go.

Alex Smith

I was gonna say Bartolo Colon, but honestly? I couldn’t outrun Bartolo Colon. I mean, I definitely probably-could- but I wouldn’t want the guy to feel bad. He’s given me so much joy! I’d throw the race. I hope you’re happy, Bartolo.

I think the difference only becomes evident when you’re making some significant, like lasagna. The home made pasta used in lasagna tastes noticeably better than any store bought version.

$10 for a jar of marinara? Must be nice being part of the 1%

People who love cooking are really bad at imagining there are people who don’t love cooking.

Making pasta is a lot like making marinara sauce. It’s not that it’s hard - it isn’t - it’s that doing it right is time-consuming and even then the odds are you aren’t going to end up with anything that’s significantly better than the premium brands you can get at the supermarket.

Does CC Sabathia still count? If there’s anyone, it’s a 300lbs pitcher whose about to retire because of an arthritic knee.

I go back and forth on that. I can see him drinking pills right from the bottle, but I can also see him being a Tom-Cruise-style scientologist type who thinks that any medicine is weakness. Especially the ones which have vaguely foreign-sounding names.

What professional athlete could you outrun?

So we agree that Trump has likely never smoked weed, but he’s for sure taken enough perscription pills to kill most of the race horses on Earth, right? I mean, I see him doing that and not counting it as “drugs” because it was from a doctor, or some sort of “medical person” who told him it would increase his manliness…