“But pork chops, lions, tenderloin are beyond incredible”

“But pork chops, lions, tenderloin are beyond incredible”

I’s like the officer to say, “oh really? And what did you do to earn those?”

Yeah, it’s a fucking ticket. I think at least 90% of people think they didn’t deserve one or think they can yell their way out of it. I mean yeah, parking tickets suck but they suck because deep down you know YOU fucked up.

I’ve seen Elba in many things where we can plainly see his face and frankly I’d prefer he wear more prosthetics so my wife won’t see his stupid handsome face.

You know what? If Leslie Jones calls me THE NIGHT OF the freakin’ premier I’m doing whatever I can to make it happen.

“chobani is garbage yogurt”

Oh please, yes thank you for THE TRUTH. That immovable, singular quality that you seem to be tapped into. Thanks for sharing THE TRUTH with us!

But next time you get the onion rings and it’s like, too many onion rings.

That’s what galls me- it says “well regulated” right fucking there.

My friend’s Element was totaled when a drunk woman with four unbuckled kids t-boned us. There was a box truck in the nearest cross lane so we didn’t have time to react. Luckily (or unluckily for the Fire Chief), this happened right in front of a fire house. I say unlucky for the chief because we spun around and hit…

When we went car shopping a few years back, there was one on the lot for a good price. I looked at for a while. The salesman asked if I wanted to test drive it. I thought about it another sec and said, “no thanks.”

Visconti sounds like he’s trying to remain edgy by touting Cobain and coming after Adele. Cobain would’ve grumbled at him and walked away unimpressed.

Put a ramp on the back of your car, brake check them hard, then ZOOM!

Whatever happened, there was a lot of walking and talking

I think the whole idea of the Kardashian empire just irks people (myself included).

I think you mean chanspat?

“Do the voice”

I don’t know but I know George Lucas likes to re-enact old encounters but with sticking things that have no business being anywhere everywhere.

Wash our genitals, right? I mean that’s what they’re for, right? Man, I shouldn’t have listened to that guy.