I liked that Axe Woves turned his life around and became the hero none of us guessed he would ever be. Axe Woves, you sir have made yourself worthy of an action figure. Many Prog Rock songs shall be sung about the adventures of Axe Woves. He smokes cinnamon cloves... in droves. I kid. Axe, admittedly, started in a…

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch ... lordy lord, this had it’s own think-piece on here a while back, right? Or maybe I watched one on YouTube. Anyway, I can’t think of a horror movie with a more brutal ending. I mean there’s lots of movies that end with: “And everybody dies off screen, the world is fucked, the end.”…

The boiled down pitches for each season still sound great:

Yeah, S1 and S2 both had the Eyes Wide Shut cult of depraved rich people in the background. I don’t mind going back there.

Season two. Maybe Zoomers will rediscover this series someday and tell us all how awesome season 2 is. I liked it for it’s big swings. So hard boiled that it was an exercise in over-boiling. “You coulda been a scrape-job!” is the nexus of cringe, hardcore, and camp.  It seemed re-written on the fly - like a lot of…

I’ve tried to make myself go back and watch the Holiday Special, but the cringe-threat is just too much. Plus I remember being little, and actually becoming angry at the show for VERY OBVIOUSLY teasing Han Solo’s appearance and only bringing him in for like 30 seconds near the end. I was old enough to know when I was…

I’m hoping the Armorer turns out to be a droid. 

I think we have a solid pitch for the next adaptation of Peter Pan:

The way they leap off Big Ben and shatter all the glass is cool but feels like a political statement, like Neverland will feature slam dancing to the Buzzcocks.

(Spoilery - watch the movie if you haven’t yet)

You shoved that in my face so hard I got a nose bleed. Other than that, I’m happy if you’re happy.

Ding Ding Ding!

Check back after Logan kills Al Pacino and Hitler on Amazon.

Aliens

“Guys guys, guys... ... the Living Waters cures dandruff. It’s good for the skin. ... the hair uh, folicles. ... Mythosaur urine is... clean. Refreshing, even. You’ll see. ... You’re gonna love it.”

Or at least make the Living Waters - Death Watch’s new HQ. Take off your helmet all you want now, just as long as you bathe nightly and say your prayers. You’ll have a Mythosaur, a Grogu, a Dark Sabre, a couple royal families, and the Living Waters all pleading with The Armorer to take off her helmet. “C’mon! C’mon.…

Yeah, last season I wondered if “The Mandalorian” was like “True Detective.” Who’s the True Detective? It’s a bunch of dudes (and Rachel McAdams) who come to the fore and recede from time to time. Anyway, they seem to be moving toward The Mandalorian in the plural sense of the word. Which, that’s cool.

I’m invested in seeing David eat shit and die. Just give me a three minute sequence with a bunch of Aliens jumping all over him, tearing him to pieces, and barfing acid all over his circuitry. Hate that character. What an asshole.

this

Rant.