Trump can’t grow a beard

Hack(ed).

It must be heartbreaking, knowing that your father doesn’t really want to have sex with you.

No, HE’S Petty.

evangelical host Pat Robertson said that Trump was “just trying to look macho.”

Same. I had no idea there was a lesser Bush anchoring the Today Show.

No, I had no idea who he was, either.

the worst thing about elections is that you have to learn about all of these assholes

Am I the only person who didn’t know who this guy was before this?

I bet Al Roker and the rest have already put all of Billy’s stuff in a box out on the curb.

His poverty will be further exposed when buying her dollar shots at a divebar

I made nothing but “Hamilton” references during a board meeting. For two hours, I was only allowed to speak lines from Hamilton.

She could be Ravenclaw too...

to this day, I cannot for the life of me figure out why the media grabbed ‘deflategate’ instead of ‘ballghazi’

It really cost us in this case; second part with two fights going on could have been captured in one screen, too. Such a shame. Oh yeah and the pointless violence.

short jort

The brawl would have lasted longer, but everyone involved remembered it takes about 3 hours to get home from Levi’s Stadium, so they had to cut it short.

It’s 2016, can we please record in landscape, please!

Barry, your mistake was not saying “If I’m wrong, cool”, when you said Tannehill was good.

Funny, Adrian Peterson’s son’s face is imprinted on his cleats too.