Ugh. I’m doing this. I’m going to say it and then accept that I will no longer be allowed to sit at the jezebel lunch table. I think this woman is telling the truth about her abusive upbringing and I feel sorry for her. Some new details have emerged that her parents (fundie christians) used that horrible child-rearing…

Lucky! I wasn’t allowed to have anything from VS, even man pajamas. It really put a damper on my dream of having the coolest bulimics in school at one of my sleepovers.

Yes, it is.

Yes, one named Hunter S. Thompson.

Over a decade ago I worked at Tim Hortons. Near the end of my lustrous career I had a drive-through customer who asked for his coffee “stirred twice clockwise, three times counter-clockwise, and four times clockwise.” I was so enamoured with the request that I followed through, and after giving the man his coffee and…

Help me here. ive just realized these are the girls (women) from escape to witch mountain, which I adored as a child. But I haven’t seen any of RHOBH. What happened to them? Why are they on this show? Is my childhood a farce?

Oh, that’s totally true; it does not apply to grandparents/close family/etc. because they won’t let it apply to them. I could stab myself in the neck and use the pressurized blood-spatter to spell out “no gifts necessary” on the sidewalk and then whisper, as they lean in close to catch my last words, “seriously, no…

Oh ma God, all of the dirty details now pleeze! This lady sounds unhinged.

Ugh. I get this but at the same time there is a much simpler and more sane way to handle this problem. You just send out the invites with “no gifts necessary” written at the bottom. You can’t complain about having too much stuff while simultaneously asking for more, no matter how “reasonable” the request.

And this is why you, never, ever, NEVER trust a person who wears their religion on their sleeve. Doesn't matter the religion, what matters is that they believe they have a direct line to God and at the end of the day they can get down on their knees and ask for forgiveness, BE GRANTED that forgiveness and go out the…

You read (wrote) my mind. I freak the fuck out, feel angry all day and then go to bed having done nothing to help this poor family. And her story does it to me every time. Is there a way to do something that sends a message of support to her parents that doesn't involve commenting on her story in the Canadian press…

Dear Voter,

Oh honey, I've seen them. On the screen, in my dreams. . .my husband and I always laugh about how he makes Elizabeth Taylor look, just. . .pretty. . .in cat on a hot tin roof. He is the real stunner in that film.

I mean, are you fucking kidding me?

Oh, this story made my heart pitter-patter! He is my ultimate crush.

There are many more independents and liberals here in the heartland than Mike Huckabee wants to admit. He already knows it but that just didn't fit on the banner that he fingerpainted with Scott Walker and Rick Perry during Arts and Crafts hour.

GAGE!!

This is so very true and also a great way to flesh out who is truly a friend to you. A former BFF of mine used to rope me into things all the time by saying "what are you doing on (date weeks or months in advance)?" If I responded by asking what she wanted to do then she would just keep pressing about the date until I…

But not too drunk to text, take pictures and shoot video. Happens to me all the time. I just shot a documentary and when it rolled at Cannes, I was like, "huh? I was way too drunk to form the intent to win the palme d'or!" And then I accepted the award and sodomized the head judge with it. Whoopsie!

I'm also small and, with my first pregnancy, I was 45 inches around at the end while only being 60 inches tall. People would stop and stare and point when I walked down the street. I feel for Hayden.