Why doesn’t the paper move when the spider walks over it?

Nice. But I was going for bleak, not hopeful like you.

Headline from 2020: “Torch Bearer Beheaded in Grisly Flying Car Incident at Tokyo Opening Ceremony.”

Don’t you disparage Daniel Faraday!

I really don’t think it’s illegal to drink hand sanitizer. That is what this story is about, isn’t it?

How could “they say his night screams have gotten less deafening” be the outtake? How much more genius is the line they left in?

Speaking as a pretty okay dad, I think this Ryan Scott Miller guy really needs to go. Look, man: Half-ass everything like the rest of us or GTFO. You’re making us look bad.

Sparky Polastry and TheRightCoast. Yeah, right? I mean screw these guys for having a hobby and being good at it. They are just a bunch of de-evolving nerdcore listeners. They could be listening to metalcore and playing Gears of War if they were cool. But they are not because they make different choices from us - the…

I thought it was a cute comment. Am I right?

You keel 10 or 11 fellow astronauts for coveting your ice cream bar and suddenly you’re labeled as a space-mad chihuahua.

If David Attenborough were to say this out loud I would believe it.

Not sure why you responded to me. All I ever said was that Neil Young’s music is definitely worth owning. I personally don’t have a dog in the digital format fight. I’m glad you have a hobby, though.

If you’re not familiar with it, The Cell (2000) is rife with homages to many modern artists. It’s been 16 years since I saw it, but I did recall the Odd Nerdrum, in addition to a shocking Damien Hirst moment and I think a Matthew Barney reference. I’m sure there were lots more.

I always base my decisions on what a bunch of random, anonymous strangers tell me to do. Is there any other way?!

I can’t speak to its quality because it’s not been shipped yet, but I backed this product on Kickstarter because it looks to have solved a couple of the problems I’ve had with rigid minimalist wallets.

I can’t speak to its quality because it’s not been shipped yet, but I backed this product on Kickstarter because it…

I thought it was an otter dressed as Cumberbatch portraying Turing.

Serious question: I’m in my early 40s. I used to love the Simpsons and Futurama, but they either got less funny or I just got old. I still have a pretty stupid sense of humor, but am not at all into weed culture. Will I like Adventure Time?

What’s Michael J. Fox like?

Your link to the Alabama logo is broken.

So much attention is paid to this issue that it seems like some sort of weird viral marketing campaign.