I made 7 years in November. I never got a chance to have a sentimental relationship with a Zippo because I kept losing them! I must have purchased five identical matte-black finish ones from my smoke shop before I just gave up started buying Bics again.

I made 7 years in November. I never got a chance to have a sentimental relationship with a Zippo because I kept…

The problem seems to be that you're the kind of guy who expects sex for buying a plane ticket. Maybe she could sense that?

I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix.

Forget what I wrote earlier about MAYBE being the greatest writer of the 21st century. Status confirmed.

Cockbloctopus single-handedly installed her among the pantheon of great American writers. In fact, at this moment, she may be the single greatest writer of the 21st century. I still like this crappy movie, though.

I think what he's proposing is well within reason and could possibly save broadcast television. I might even consider going back to cable if I could, say, choose to watch the Simpsons instead of an NFL game on Sunday night.

You. You, I understand.

I know right?! He should receive some kind of punishment for that. Like, being locked away from society for a decade or so. If a thing like that were to happen, and were he to acknowledge publicly that what he did was wrong, then maybe we could listen to what he has to say and not label him as a "junkie" and a…

Make sure to keep a printed backup just in case. Stash it somewhere safe, like under the doormat next to the spare key.

Are you sure? I always assumed that Canada was like Hoth with cheese fries.

I was thinking the only people who'd vote for them would be the ones who can't use an apostrophe properly.

* Half-heartedly offering $1 to bum a smoke.

You should have included a picture of yourself and not just an empty grocery aisle.