I’m so glad to see this topic, especially since I’ve been melting down all over Jezebel the last few days over an emergency due to my son’s situation.

I got in the drive-thru line at Starbuck’s, but not before a car just beat me to it from another direction. I was in a hurry like always, in a bad mood and I started saying obscenities to myself because it felt SO slow. FINALLY, I ordered 2 drinks and food. When I FINALLY got to the pay window, the woman I had been…

My parents have gradually become wackado over the years. My mom now regrets having me vaccinated as a child, is completely onboard with the theory that coronavirus is a Deep State bioweapon, complains about the chemtrails she can see from her kitchen window, listens to all the nutjob rightwing radio shows, and if she…

Years ago, some very kind person paid my rent directly to my landlord’s office and left $500 cash in an envelope on the windshield of my car, anonymously, 2 weeks before Christmas. I’ve never been more thankful for anything in my entire life. I quite literally fell down to my knees and cried happy tears. I’m crying…

When I was 18, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer. In the years prior to this she had cut off her family and separated from my father. She didn’t trust anyone so she made my barely a legal adult self her power of attorney. Six months after diagnosis she took a big turn for the worst and was mostly…

When I was in college, I was in line to get my car washed — first nice day after a snow storm. Super long line so the guy in front of me decided to leave and suddenly threw his car in reverse and was about to hit me, so I backed up and hit a parked car at the little mechanic shop next to the car wash. The mechanic…

This is such a small thing, but it still sits with me. About 20 years ago, I was flying home with my garbage boyfriend after I’d brought him to meet my family for the first time at Thanksgiving. I now realize it was an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, but at the time I just suffered constantly. On the…

My parents discovered I was gay at the end of my senior year of high school, right before graduation. My father beat me nearly unconscious and I literally ran out of the house with only the clothes I was wearing. I snuck back in twice to get some things, but it barely amounted to a suitcase’s worth of stuff.

I stayed…

I got in a minor fender bender (A guy ran into the back of my car in a parking lot and then tried to gaslight me into not taking his insurance and said that “my parents would probably be upset if they found out I was in an accident.... bitch please with that condescension... you. hit. me. ) Anyways, I got his info and…

I was traveling through Europe at the end of the study abroad, so I was lugging a huge suitcase from France, to Belgium, to Italy, to Greece, to England. Upon my arrival in Brussels, a man approached me and offered to carry my suitcase up the stairs. I declined, having learned in my time in Europe that men who offered…

Jake’s straight-laced personal history is always a nice gag. 

It’s so bizarre how attached people are to women having long hair. I recently chopped off about a foot of my hair, which I’ve done several times over my adult life. It just gets too long and annoying and I chop it off, and five years or so go by and we do this all again. It is not an emotional experience. 

I’m less disheartened by their age difference, and more so by the fact that he’s a fucking mess. Girl, no.

Offended on behalf of fairy bread.

Cinnamon Sugar on buttered toast is tragically omitted from this list for no good reason. 

Wait. HOW is buttered toast so far down on this list?? A thick slice of good sourdough, crunchy yet chewy, with real amish butter melting into all the pockets? Sprinkle a bit of sea salt flakes on it? Heaven I say!!

They look like the babysitter and the boyfriend that she invites over in a slasher movie.

My husband, K, and I used to live in Japan - not a super-fun part of Japan, (our city had a disease named after it!) but we did have a few people come to visit.

When my ex-wife and I split up she was 27, I was 23, and we were fairly amicable. So amicable that she helped me move into my new apartment with the 19 year old college student I had found to rent a place with. Not ideal, but said student could pay 6 months of rent up front. Less than a month later my ex wife and this…

So unecessary and un-evolved to put Keanu down in an attempt to compliment his gf. Ironic, too, when you’ve quoted that she herself chooses love over hate.