Wilmette is about 2 hundred yards north of me right now. How strange when national news happens where you live.

Oh good, the /pol/ and Reddit Edgelords have been summoned.

I am a straight dude with a TON of lady friends, and it’s a constant annoyance - they want to set up play dates with their stupid BF named Jeff who they insist is “THE FUNNIEST GUY OMG” and “SO SWEET AND NICE”. Like, sweetie, honey, lambkin, doll, you’ve called me up a dozen times to bitch about how you reaaaally…

If we’re talking tux bowties, we should cut some slack for James Bond and celebrities on the red carpet. If we’re talking bowties-as-daily-wear, the list is 2, maybe 3 dudes ever.

While I’m sure they have redeeming qualities and of course every situation is unique, if I were in your shoes I’d burn my goddamn house down and move in with some people with Ebola.

Oh, yeah. Once your liver and kidneys are reduced to a runny slurry, it really cuts down on that unsightly abdominal-organ-belly, plus you feel light as a feather!

Oh thank god the Intentionally Obtuse False Equivalency Guy is here to educate us all!

Just ribbing you! Believe me, if I won the lotto, I’d drive an Icon so hard. But I’d spec it with a hose-out-able interior and crank windows.

If they don’t call this technology “Googly Eyes,” they’re completely insane.

Yeah, but there were only like 21 dudes and a woman who wanted the job.

Oh yeah, I had somehow blocked that gem from my mind. Better hurry up and nab those rape privileges, ladies! They’re going fast!

According to George Will, being raped is “coveted status that confers privileges.”

If you think Trump winning would be unfair, what would a fair result be? The GOP had 4 years to come up with candidates that weren’t chucklefucks or robots. They failed. They made their Trump bed, now they can lie in it.

If you don’t recognize ______ is a haughty dipshit as a honorarily patented Drew-ism you need to go home and get your fucking shinebox.

I have ridden alone in an elevator with George Will many times and have yet to make his head explode with my thoughts. I apologize.

Any time I read anything about bathroom policing I get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach because I am preparing to read about an act of violence perpetuated against an LGBT person. It’s just a matter of time before it happens and it makes national news.

I was off and on with this total cockbag for 6 years, 6 YEARS, starting when I was 15. Lost my virginity to him, so was naive and totally thought he was the one I would end up with. HA. He was 3 years older, an amateur body builder (mostly just a meat head with dreams of body building competitions) with a motorcycle,…