God invented doggystyle so Canadians would have something to do while they watched hockey...???? Not sure. I am aaskin@!

"The size of his guilt." That is awesome. You should write novels and win Nobel Prizes. I love you.

Yargh!

They say I died. They say it is a mystery. I live:

That is disgusting! SO gross. Eating at McDonalds...

Best ketchup holder at McD's = cup lids. Just fill up a plastic lid with Ketchup and go to town. Don't worry about those little paper cups.

Driving on the Beltway is still worse than this. I would rather have my mistakes corrected by a Russian man with an assault rifle than ever get on the beltway again. And I mean ALL of the beltway. #NEVERAGAIN #ALLBELTWAYS

I wish the Pope would issue a new Bull allowing crusading indulgences. You are right at the top of my list!

Perfect amount = not getting fired for being late. Just stick to that.

Too late now!

I saw Fancy Ray. He used to come into the shop where I worked.

The more lonely and depressed they were the more likely they were to get involved in this stupid "science" survey. GLOBAL WARMING IS FAKE PEOPLE!

Things were great!

They still do those. If you want one we can hook you up. We recommend (we are all doctors) that 24 hours prior to surgery you listen to as much Fox Business News as you can in order to make sure you don't have anything left in your system.

Is that really funny? Who rescued the dog? In old-timey nature videos they would never interrupt the 'Circle-of-Life'

Just for my own info; are you drunk?

Best story from the Little House on the Prairie TRUE CRIME files that Laura couldn't (or didn't want to) get published:

Murder isn't fightin' tho is it?I suppose you are correct in that 'fighting' does not equal dueling. Nowadays, when 'statute' allows any good citizen to pack heat in most states in the U.S.A. you would think duellos would be more common. Maybe they are and we are all reading the newspapers wrong. Who knows. All I know…

FAP magazine. FitApe magazine? Either works.

David Malki! is specific enough. Thank you!!!