It’s because “sherbet” sounds stupid. It’s sherbert.

I can’t tell if they’re drawing dicks in everything, or if I’m seeing dicks in everything.

I said “carhole” in front of my realtor (it became a household word after reading McMansion Hell) and she literally did not know what I meant. “We really don’t need 3 car holes.” “I’m... sorry?”

I can not believe that my cross stitch is on here.

Maybe clarify that this is not actually affecting the Drive cloud service but only the apps labeled Drive on Macs and PCs.

No, I disagree.

Don’t you know Beyonce created everything and is the most talented performer in the history of the world and has never ripped anyone off in her lifetime? All original, that Beyonce.

“Welcome to the Department of Justice!”

because Page Six clicked publish, and then i clicked publish

It’s less misogyny and more backward religious tenets, but tomato to-mahto I suppose.

You too can now experience crushing disappointment and anger when you’re missing a screw while putting together a Tromso.

Worst. Documentary. Ever.

skimming the beach on their ultra-low takeoffs and landings

If I had to die, being blown to death would pretty much be at the top of my list.

What does that make the High Sparrow, then?

I got certified as Deputy Marriage Commissioner in San Francisco in order to officiate my brother’s wedding a couple years ago. It was a very quick and easy process. The power really goes to your head though: I made everyone refer to me by my full title for the entire 24-hour period that I was deputized.

If I ever get married again, all I want from an officiant besides the legal right to perform the ceremony is selling the jokes well enough to convince the bride’s family that it’s spontaneous. If her mom isn’t ready to throttle me after the coin gag*, I want an annulment and a do-over.

I should have been more clear... I wasn’t saying that was what happened just that someone else had posted that explanation and it sounded like a way for the police to get to “road rage”.