This would be quite effective were it not for the fact that “women: you have to treat them like sh*t” is the subtext for the entire Republican party.

The real cyber crime is a kid from Kitchener (dumpster fire town an hour outside of Toronto) calling himself “TorontoHooligan”

Rogers Comminications is more commonly referred to as just Rogers, although Ted Rogers is commonly referred to as Ted Fuckface Rogers.

Just for some clarity here, imagine if the Cleveland Browns put up a statue of Randy Lerner. That would be like the Jays putting up this statue of Ted Rogers.

This is classically Canadian. This asshole got rich in a heavily protected industry in Canada. Business acumen? A golden doodle would have been a successful CEO of Rogers in that era.

SAVE THE WOMEN ESPECIALLY AJ McCARRON’S WIFE I’M GONNA GIVE HER A FACIAL I PLAY EVEN HARDER IN THE SECOND HALF

This will be a tough challenge, citizen. On one robotic hand, people watched her streams because of the sex appeal she has, the main selling point of watching her streams, much like people enjoyed watching me get blown to pieces by small arms fire.

HAHA That reminds me of a time my friends and I overheard a guy drunkenly saying his penis hangs 3 inches from the floor and a third party said “Yeah, when you’re laying down on your stomach.” And like half the bar goes “Oooooooooooh!”

I justed starred both of these comments.

Whatever. I beat porn at least three times a day and I feel fine.

Ordinarily, such a coordinated attack on Kardashian Prime would not be countenanced.

Four bolts of cloth? Friend, those are teenage bride prices.

If you aren't going to throw in a cow and four bolts of good cloth, sit back down.

I bid two goats and an acre of farmland of a goodly soil.

There are plenty of reasons not to watch MLS.

Deadspin snarks on MLS. Something new and different.

Why did I even bother to click? I should have known it would just be insults.

I guess we should be thankful for this, the least cunty MLS piece in Deadspin history?

Ten years ago, Manchester City wouldn’t have been in that room. Fifteen years ago, Chelsea wouldn’t. Aston Villa and Everton have richer histories, and could have been in that position with benevelent owners. Manchester United went 25 years between titles, including a relegation. In five years, Tottenham and West Ham…