Nice try, but I know this is you, Clint Howard.

"And now, sublime creature, defecate your own to-go box!"

He's supposed to talk to Wolf Blitzer first. The only problem there is that Wolf is probably too dumb to ask the right questions. Hopefully, these are just the first stops in Priebus' "Can You Believe This Shit?" media tour.

I was thinking more Damien Thorn, but that's mostly because I enjoyed the mental image of some nanny standing on a window ledge with a noose around her neck yelling, "It's all for you, Pickle!"

Pickle will be the death of us all.

"Hey Bannon, do you really have to do that in the briefing room?"

To be fair, Felix's maiming-by-shark comes directly from the novels. Where the movies screwed up was in not bringing him back with a hook hand like a badass, as Fleming did.

Drinking is hard work.

3-D is not enough. Martin Balsam was made for Smell-O-Vision.

This seems like a pu'er decision.

That guy sounds like a real jerk.

"'Limn'? What the hell kind of word is that? She must mean 'limb.'" — A.V. Club copy editor

My favorite part was McConnell's cross-armed stare-down effort being rendered completely impotent with that vote. Back in your shell, turtle!

And run the risk that he gets "mercury poisoning" and runs off with my money again? No, thank you.

Great. How am I supposed to draw dicks on pictures of Jeremy Piven's face now? My art project is ruined!

Did it start with Rod Stewart?

He tried some speech-to-text software once and his computer exploded.

It puts Teti's 55-gallon drum to shame.

Will I get to hang out with Ted Williams and Walt Disney, or just their respective heads?

The one with the chicken fingers and mozzarella sticks I believe is the "Fat Darrell." The "Fat Cat" is two cheeseburgers, French fries, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and ketchup.