*turtle shifts its eyes*

If you said Nick Carter and Emma Bunton, you are wrong: They were never popular.

"Bluddy ell, tha fookin' pomerunion's gun un took a doomp on the fookin' carpet agun. Think yur fookin 'speshal cuz ya shite un tha floor? I pissed on the bluddy Alamo. Oos gunna clean this up? Nah fookin' me, I tell ya tha. SHARON!"

War Pugs

Relevant anecdote: Welles was once the guest of honor at a celebrity dinner in Vienna. One well-to-do guest in conversation observes, "Vienna is not what it used to be. Something has gone out of Vienna."

"You didn't say it, he did…your 'friend.'"

I know, that was just a declaration of love. Yes!…Oh, yes! They're even better raw!

His dialogue consists solely of endorsements for Mrs. Pell's fish sticks.

WWAAAAHHHAAAAA! The French…champagne has always been renowned for its sexcellence…

Get me a jury and show me how you can say "in July," and I'll go down on you.

This'll be worth it just to get the Masturbating Bear on the witness stand.

It's half the reason Trump wants to build that wall.

But how do we get the pits out of our avocados again?

I don't know if I want to get a mortar and pestle involved.

Poor Miss Piggy…

Uh, that's not why my hand is wrinkly, slimy and green. Doctors: what do they know?

If only there were some other Frank we could compare him to…

Now I'm picturing a Nuremberg Rally where instead of "Sieg heil!" everyone is yelling "Yas, queen!"

And the early '00s. And the '10s.

I feel like 2009 was also some kind of tipping point. In addition to resembling Hedberg's stuff, Martin's act also looked pretty similar to Zach Galifianakis's (surreal one-liners, musical instruments, easel pad visual humor). Only 2009 came, Galifianakis got his breakthrough in The Hangover and Demetri Martin got…Taki…