Tom Sizemore can make love to a Schnauzer like you wouldn't believe.

How else are they supposed to learn?

"By 1996, Capote must have felt that he had finally passed through the gates of paradise."

"I promise in my duties as president to uphold a government of, by and for the people's elbow."

Well, they'd like you to keep it down, but they're not prudes.

That's a different one.

What's Mr. Brainwash like in real life?

"…felt terrible for what was happening, but couldn't help but laugh his ass off anyway."

But it's so funny when their tiny car hits the electric pole.

His eye exam must not be Göring well then.

My wife's a real battle-axe.

"I heard tings. I heard tings."

David Imposterfield

I'm seeing double here. Four Dickins!

Oh no! That would mean everyone would eventually realize what a fraud I am!

Jiminy Jillikers!

Most words in French are just various descriptions of tits.

Kanye's great and all, but it's producer Tenzing Norgay who deserves most of the credit.

"In the future, everyone will be— Hey, where are you going, guys? Don't you want to see my soup cans? Guys?"

I'm just surprised he's genuinely capable of operating a motor vehicle and not just play-acting like when he was in the big-boy truck.