"My God, that sounded like a bag of cats being tossed into a ceiling fan. Totally atonal. You were farther from the proper notes than Pluto is from the Sun, and you have the sense of rhythm of a turnip. A perfect approximation of Rebecca Black. You're going to Hollywood!"

I'm just waiting for Mike Tyson's astute observations on the French election.

God, can you imagine the gravy that would involve?

That depends. Does the box set include that pre-CGI work print that leaked online a few years ago? Because that thing was a comedic masterpiece.

De-aging CGI for an X-Men character? Are you trying to give me flashbacks to Xavier in X-Men Origins: Wolverine?

This generation of Republicans is so far down the Objectivist, selfishness-as-virtue rabbit hole that any expression of altruism seems to them like some sinister plot by the dregs of society to undermine the American way of life. When it comes from a super-successful, self-made billionaire capitalist like Buffett, the…

Besides, Andrew Jackson took care of all that stuff back in World War II.

Not to mention fighting off all her dad's sexual advances.

Shattered 2: Electoral Boogaloo

Always rippin' me off. — Alan Moore

I get the sense that he's a fan himself who's really happy to have gotten to live out some of his dreams. There's a Batman graphic novel, Son of the Demon, for which Hamill writes a gushing introduction. It wouldn't be surprising to have the guy who voices the Joker write an intro to a Batman story, but this intro is…

Ahem.

Somewhere, George Takei is hitting up an ATM.

And here I thought Trump was the one who was obsessed with precious bodily fluids.

And Zombie Merv Griffin's stranglehold on the 7 p.m. timeslot continues.

You gotta love chili as much as you hate shirts in the Jones household.

What do you expect from those monsters at Chobani?

There's also the risk that the children could get into his stash of mind-altering chili.

Unfortunately, they lost custody to Alex Jones.

I'm not sure I approve of this remake of Fame.