Geese are pushovers. Try a swan. Those fuckers are evil, like a T-Rex in a ballerina costume.

Manager Scott Bakula can get Timmy back on track.

Royals fan here. He deserved everything he got from Machado. This is his fourth or fifth incident since the start of last season. He’s shown no growth in maturity or composure.

None of his teammates coming near him on the bench afterward says enough about how they feel about his continuing antics.

And his hardest pitch…

Can’t we all chip in a few bucks, and have Jim Tomsula emcee the evening?

Still not the worst beating suffered by a Ventura on the mound.

Something reasonable but unrealistic (“After a meeting with the commissioners, the NFL has pledged to institute a zero tolerance domestic violence policy with automatic one year suspension and loss of wages”) that they will look terrible when backtracking.

Not that I care about baseball, but if I hacked MLB’s Twitter I’d probably report Derek Jeter (or Mariano Rivera) both admitted longtime PED use, and have subsequently renounced their HOF status. Just to BREAK BRAINS.

I’d announce that Tim Tebow has been signed by The Cleveland Browns.

The Colorado-Connecticut affiliate situation has to be among the worst, distance wise, in baseball. The only worse situation I can think of is the Mets’ AAA Las Vegas 51s. “We need an extra reliever up pronto” is a cross country flight.

Masshole meets asshole.

Roger Goodell: [is constantly abused by fans of other 31 NFL teams]

As you should. Hating Goodell spans all fandom boundaries.

Just when we thought he had all the answers, he forgot all the questions.

The story goes that McMahon did the talking to the cops while Snuka “kayfabed” it up as his character. Don’t know if it’s a fact or not about Snuka’s hijinks but police did talk to McMahon the night she was found.

My Volvo has a puss-to-pass button, indicated by the green arrow.

Or as Tiger calls it, Mistress #73

Counterpoint:

“Well the good news is now your mom can finally get a belt made”

Bunnies are less likely to plot to murder you in your sleep. Cats always seem like they’re one baby step away from that, no matter how adorable they are.

Typical of soccer to have an important match decided in a shootout.