Heroin blends pretty well with just about anything, I've found.

BUT WHAT?!

John's apartment is so filthy that it's a proper noun.

The only correct way to read this comment is to shout it at Matthew Modine.

[flagged]

[upvoting your test for some reason]

You see, the thing about Axl Rose is that he has, like, reverse gingivitis? Instead of a receding gumline, it seems like his gums are encroaching upon the territory previously claimed by his tiny little teeth. And, you know, he opens his mouth and all you see is gums. I'm not okay with it, and I believe America…

So, "November Rain," then?

Comment/avatar synergy.

*picks up garbage can*

"Dick… cheese… burger…"

Seriously, this is bizarre, and having to resort to mercenary tactics just to post a fucking comment makes me feel like Sluggo or something. And what does it say about my sad, miserable life that it all comes crashing down when I can't access my goddamn AV Club account? Do I have to go to rehab now? Please don't make…

I like my neckties like I like my Max von Sydows: vintage mid-70's and 6 inches wide at the bottom.

He was pretty hot back in the Bergman days. I could probably be persuaded to come for Max von Sydow.

Says the person who never had to look each one of those defenseless hounds in the eye while their teeth were being harvested for jackets.

Of course, what you meant to say is that this is your fucking wake-up call, Max von Sydow! I am an F! B! I! agent!

Whatever is going on with Disqus right now cannot accurately be described as "shitting the bed." We're way beyond that euphemism. This is more like shitting the leather sofa in the middle of the living room while having President Barack Obama and the first lady over for dinner. This is really bad.