You win.

This is why we can't have funny things.

No. No, it doesn't.

The cat.

.

Sex.

You'll find them standing next to the real Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

...and before you know it, you'll be dead!

You turn off your computer? What for?

And I thought the phrase was Sour "Puss".

Step 1: Stop watching Fox News.

Here's the trick that's ALWAYS worked for me: Raise your hand over your head, all the way. Wait for about 10-20 seconds. Reach up and pull the ring off.

I'm likely far too late for the "It's a conspiracy" line.

Those of us with decent PCs know this already.

Yep. While you idiots are holding your phones up at the concert, I'm listening to the music, watching the band, and taking it all in.

And if you're a Republican, you can give yourself a tax cut and save even less money!

"Hey, Bubba, there's another one."

.

I don't remember where I first read it, but I've used it several times, and it works quick.

I don't know how much it would help with large cuts (it just might), but pouring sugar on a cut causes the blood to congeal almost immediately. Just make sure it's sugar and not salt.