He’s like Bo Derek, a perfect 9-1.

My fantasy team stinks.

You guys left out Adult Swim also enabling the ressurection of Futurama, which was a total win.

Which do you think is more important? Hard work or stick-to-itiveness?

They’ll pair nicely with those sideburns he never shaved.

I’ll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don’t want to be driving to a maternity hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church. Or synagogue

Give it a few years and it becomes apt.

Technically, I don’t think “go fuck yourself” is marriage advice per se....

He also added “You get excited about hiring a new offensive coordinator, aight, but after you work together for awhile, you realize he sleeping with your daughter, and we had a process that made it work.”

My grandparents were married for 71 years. They lived the great American immigrant story where he came to the US from what was Czechoslovakia in 1930, two months after marrying my grandmother. He worked the docks as a Longshoreman in Brooklyn until he had enough money to send for her. With the money they saved from…

As someone who lost my wife last week, the fact that people took the time to read the post and give a thought means so much to me.

Everyone trying to correct you probably thinks the Panthers are 9-0, too.

Apparently that referee is unfamiliar with a little something we like to call the First Amendment.

Flutie’s dad was long rumored to have a better arm than Doug, but who knew his mother was also better at passing.

Join the club! My wife and son died within twelve hours of each other.

“Oh, a flavorless alcoholic drink whose primary purpose is to get white girl wasted?”

I have to call you out on the Smirnoff diss. After reading a blind taste test study by the NYT a few years ago, in which leading vodka experts sampled all of the major vodkas, the consensus winner was Smirnoff. I ask for it by name now, and frequently get snooty looks when doing so.

A Pimp Named MrsDaveR sounds like a catch.

just blow the thing up and air a full mites-on-ice game instead.

No offence, but NOPE to most of what you just said.