Filed to: COONS GONNA COON 

You knew massa would call this coon in from the fields and bring him to the bigly house.

Some are born into greatness, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them. Today, this young man achieved greatness.

So many of my comments in real life and here and elsewhere on the web boil down to “Jesus, look at this fucking asshole right here”, and I mean to one day change that and cleanse myself of this all-consuming hatred, but Jesus, look at this asshole right here.

You can live a healthy life and still get cancer. Or MS or ALS, or several other diseases. Or, you know, get in a car accident.

What a brazen play to be appointed Secretary of Eugenics. Heard the position is still open.

In 2017, after the inaugeration of President #45, these are the questions that keep me up at night. North Korea? Health care repeal? The Wall (not Pink Floyd’s)? No, Faye Dunaway’s Oscar fumble sends me into soul-crushing anxiety and ruins my internal peace. Even my happy place’s walls are crushed when I close my eyes.

Trump seems to like him and that’s all that really matters.

I have said this before and it never stops being true: Donnie sounds like someone trying to have a serious conversation on a ball of cocaine. I really can’t listen to him talk, and when I read the shit he said, he sounds like a puppy that has too many shiny objects and noise makers around it.

Who the fuck ARE these people?!

Excuse me while I snort my birth control off my desk.

Here’s the thing... I’ve been blessed with fairly sizable closet space since the 90s. I still HAVE some of these clothes. The huge skirt thing... I have mine from 10 years ago. The paper thin flower sundress - 1995, I am here for you!

Something I’ve been wondering about a lot lately is: at what age does someone become complicit in and responsible for something they were born into? Barron gets a pass, Arabella gets a pass, but ... Tiffany?

“You can’t sit with us!”

Blow hard enough and you’ll hover.

I love Hildi so much. I think my favorite is when she did a family’s kitchen and put wine bottle labels on the wall as wallpaper and the other couple flipped during the reveal because they were Christians and she defiled their space with alcohol. Hildi is the best.

Craft Thread!

I get a free untamed male revue every morning. It involves backhair and underwear with holes in it.

I’ve had a baby and feel exactly the same way.