I was at a play once and I was waiting in line for a drink when Paul Newman came up next to me. I was 22, he was maybe 80? Still a fox. I usually play it cool but I couldn't let this moment go.

***HORK*** Pls not to be posting pictures of Le Putin with all of the pretty menz.

Paul Newman.

I just discovered today that he was my childhood crush in Home & Away.

Dance. I have all of the grace of a dying hippo.

Is anyone else hearing "Jeremy Jordan, all right" and seeing Donna Martin press a button on the jukebox in the Peach Pit? Or did I make that all up?

...Or Madonna might publish a book about.

I really wish they wouldn't call Transformers "Trannies #4"

The babies just must fall out like fucking coconuts off a palm tree.

What, the, eff. I'm a guy. I seriously think those of us concerned with the physical appearance of a vagina are the minority.

Well I'm giving birth in 2015, so I'll likely be tore up from the floor up. It'll be a wild ride with this aging vagina. Thank god Self magazine is around to remind me what's important in life.

BEARDS SURROUND BEARDED MAN

No! Totally not normal! If it was normal, there would be a whole movement of people proclaiming, "Hey ladies, after you've been menstruating for a while it's natural for your body to dribble pee down your legs whenever it feels in touch with nature. Just embrace it, it's Mother Earth's way of saying she loves you!"…

I am giving birth in 2015. My vagina is doomed.

What I don't get is how these assholes are so worried about vaginas (which, really, I can't imagine getting too wrinkly/floppy/saggy/whatthefuckever ) when men, including the "cosmetic surgeon" quoted in the article, are walking around with things looking like two old, droopy, dried out kielbasa sausages with half the…

Getting old rocks! I am almost 44 and the more years I gots the less shits I gives. FREEDOM!! My va-jay-jay pushed a human being out of it and I had a little accident that affected my outer hoo-ha (long story, won't give you nightmares) so I have two scars that clutter up my bits and yet I have never had a man stop…

That's how I do it. Oh wait, that's another thing I do just because I enjoy it, and not because I spend any time wandering around worrying about old pussy, unless it's my actual 20 year old cat hoarking on the new carpet.

Ever since my child ripped it coming into this world, I've pretty much decided that I'm gonna leave all those bits alone unless there's a possible health concern.