I blame the media for failing to report on Dr. Carson’s many and obvious faults as a presidential candidate*. He constantly resorts to hyperbole, repeatedly invokes Hitler and Nazis (hasn’t he heard of Godwin’s Law?), makes bad historical analogies. Carson holds extreme positions, even for a Republican (e.g., abolish…

Here’s an idea to pitch to the folks at Shark Tank: fake Champagne for locker-room celebrations. Why waste $20 a bottle on Mumm Napa that players spray around but don’t actually drink, when they can do the same thing with $2 bottles of fizzy water?

Lincoln Chafee turned in an Admiral James Stockdale-level performance.

Narrated by Lloyd Bridges, of course.

Aw, give them a break. They’re about to endure winter—and, even worse, six months of Maple Leafs hockey.

It’s too bad the llama handler didn’t turn out to be Lleyton Hewitt.

This just in: In a last-ditch effort to salvage his campaign, Chafee has announced that James Stockdale will be his running mate.

In related news, bears invaded the New York Stock Exchange today.

Elizabethtown came up on last night’s Jeopardy. $1,600 clue: “In a Cameron Crowe movie, Orlando Bloom returns to this Kentucky place.”

Rusty Simmons is currently weighing multiple offers to be a Detroit Lions beat reporter.

How many drinks should we take whenever Hillary Clinton mentions “grandmother” or “Charlotte”?

Given the value of the stolen ice cream, there’s a good chance the thieves won’t be thrown in the cooler.

There were so many funny stories in Loose Balls. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Know what would make ESPN Classic watchable? Alternate endings. Tune in and you might see Kirk Gibson strike out swinging in the 1988 World Series, Michael Jordan clank his last shot in the Finals against Utah, or the refs rule that Tom Brady fumbled the ball in the playoff game against Oakland. Or Steve Bartman…

I’m in favor of naming winter storms after adult beverages because a big storm that cancels work and school is an excuse to party.

I hate fund-raising spams, like the Carly spam in your post, with the intensity of 10,000 suns. And I hate the political consultants who encourage those spams with the intensity of 10 million blue-white suns.

At Michigan Stadium. The Ohio State game, 1975. Michigan led for the most of the game (and held Archie Griffin under 100 yards for the only time in his college career) but OSU scored two TDs in the fourth quarter to win.

Has anyone released the official drinking game for this debate? Every time Hillary Clinton says “grandmother” ought to be worth at least 2 drinks.

Last month, a contestant who didn’t know the answer to the Final Jeopardy question wrote “What is the Love Ballad of Turd Ferguson?”

If you’re Canadian, today is Thansgiving.