blueeyedginger
singin' the blues in a big red state
blueeyedginger

Horrible. My MIL told me when she was 8 months pregnant with my husband and my FIL was out of town on business, a man from their small town stopped by her house and made advances to her, which she of course rebuffed. Apparently, my FIL did the same thing - asked her what she'd done to promote it. Eight months

My take: Sleeping = Legal. Raping = Illegal. You couldn’t be less at fault if you tried. Don’t own somebody else’s crazy/evil.

Women should be allowed to sleep without having men try to rape them. It is the rapists’ fault. Completely.

That’s bizarre. I had a really drunk, really hot neighbor climb into my bed one night in college. We commenced to hooking up (she initiated) and 10 minutes in just passed out. I nudged her a few times (with my finger, on her arm) to see if she was awake. She wasn’t, so I rolled over and went to sleep, blue balls and

You are blameless. The blame lies with the two men, and them alone. Not with a culture, not with their upbringing. They, and they alone.

You are in no way to blame. Blame the men who were taking advantage of a woman who couldn’t consent.

I’m so sorry and it is not your fault.

My son is young and not getting the ‘real’ sex ed yet, but we’ve done a lot of preliminary stuff like body sovereignty, proper names of body types, decreasing shame, and talking about pleasure (food is pleasurable, movement of the body is pleasurable, fun things are pleasurable) and how pleasure is a good thing.

I would imagine it’s not even a thing specifically related to porn.

“Let’s watch this video of somebody having their eye slowly pulled out of their socket and crushed in front of their face. When we’re done watching, I’m going to do that to you.”

Anticipation makes everything worse.

For me personally, the phrase “child bride” translates directly as rape victim, and furthermore a rape victim who was a) a minor, and likely pre-pubescent or in her early teens, and b) told in some way that her situation was “normal”, i.e. within the defined social contract of marriage. Both of those factors, for me

While I’m not against porn myself, I’d also like to play devil’s advocate here: Blaming a single individual for this single crime is an over-simplification of the issue. Anti-porn advocates (along with many other perhaps more reasonable people) could point out that there are deeper cultural issues at play — the way

This is a thing that I think about every now and then, especially now that I have a son. I feel like I have to be realistic about the fact that no matter how hard I try to keep it away from him, he’s probably going to see porn before I think he’s old enough (the internet isn’t going anywhere anytime soon). So, my and

Try giving it a bit more spin when you throw it.

It was kind of amazing. Bobby was already well-known for showing up on any article about women being abused, raped or murdered by men to declare that the bitch was probably lying, and if she wasn't, then she asked for it, but that comment was still boggling. We talk a lot about how rape apologists are probably

Not for more than a few months at a time - never his fault when it falls through, naturally.

I’m a thin white girl with full lips and a big bottom and this whole cultural moment - including ragging on the kardashians, who *bought* their Black features and are called trashy for it- is making me feel like I’m ripping off black culture just by existing. I honesty feel awkward as hell as a white woman (not the

Ditto. I have been tall and had all my lady curves since I was 11 so I quickly learned to avoid inappropriate and very creepy male attention by drowning myself in layers of flannel, tshirts, dark jeans and boots. I kept the grunge uniform up to my mid-20's. The result was people labeling me as mean/cold/butch/etc and

Does that mean if I dress like a general I can start giving everyone orders and they have to salute me? I like this idea.

From the description of your outfit I would’ve guessed they would force you to play Nirvana covers for them. What a wild twist that it has more to do with your gender than clothes!

I think part of what makes these conversations so difficult is that we can’t ever hold them in a truly safe space. We can’t have a real conversation about the grey areas in sexuality without some creep jumping in to be like, “Exactly, it’s complicated, that’s why I’m not a rapist.” We feel pressure to be like “CONSENT