we will throw your ass in jail and release you on Black Friday.

If I were dictator, I would make a law. From July 8th-15th advertisers are allowed to bombard us with Christmas. "Hey, thrifty people and creeps who are obsessed with Christmas because it's the only thing they have going on in their miserable lives, get your Christmas shit now while it's on sale!" Then, NOTHING until…

Erin, as someone who lives there, I can confirm with 100% certainty that Oklahoma is not, in fact, a real place.

I will fully support this if it means we can merge Christmas and Halloween into 1 super spooky 4 month long costume wearing, gift giving bonanza.

I was worried something like this would happen. Thanksgiving and Halloween have been devoured by Christmas.

It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.

/dismissive jerk-off motion

Well, 1. we don't actually know that she was having sex in public, or even dry humping in public, so I would hold off judgment on that. I could see standing by the side of my car, my boyfriend sitting on the passenger seat, and sitting on his lap to kiss him while we were waiting. 2. it is very possible that the…

idk, i feel like you're mistaking professionalism/Good Copping with like, him not shoving her to the ground to arrest her- which is almost completely understandable since that's the best we can hope for at this point in the US. but he was willfully attempting to circumvent the law by telling her she has to give ID,…

AMEN. He was a sarcastic douche. She now seems to think she is Rosa Parks or something, which I find pretty fucking insulting to my intelligence. The biggest asshole of all is whoever called in the complaint. My guess is Mayim Bialik?

Yeah. Fixed it.

Wow. Was hoping they'd make a statement more like "as an official sponsor, we ask that the NFL lay out immediate plans and outline punishments for players and coaches that perpetrate domestic violence, or we'll be forced to pull our sponsorship." But I'm crazy, so.

Sorry, you can't just say you "support" something unless you're actually taking actions to, you know, actually support it. That's just lip service. Unless they cut ties with the NFL and/or start giving boatloads of money to organizations that address issues around domestic violence, they're not actually "supporting"…

I'm fully #TeamNoOne on this one.

Yes. To teach police officers the fucking laws they protect for one. To point out racial profiling at its ugliest, for two.

Depends on the state. There are five "papers please" states and nine more where they can ask without cause, but you can say no. California is neither. They can't even ask without cause. Unfortunately, being black is always probable cause.

Everything else about this aside:

She does not. The cop doesn't understand the law. They can arrest, if they have a reason to do so, but you have the right to do absolutely nothing else they say.

Using the phrase "bringing up the race card" as this cop did isn't even a red flag warning of racism. It's a huge, flashing neon sign that says "THIS IS ABOUT RACE."

I was a pretty good slut back in the day and now I just tell people they retired my number.