I love the fact he's trying to cover it up with kitty litter sand that isn't there.

Maybe if I were out of alcohol. Like, if the whole world was out of alcohol I mean.

What is the school doing to rectumfy the situation?

Aren't sororities always going on about how they are made up of classy, refined young women and so on? And that's their excuse for denying membership to pledges of color? Because they don't meet their impossibly high "standards" of how a sorority lady should be? Really? REALLY?

Looked at the picture of poop. WHAT ARE THEY EATING? I really thought it was just a lump of baked beans with some of the baked bean sauce thrown in. I feel like they should be talking to a doctor/dietician/priest or something.

On the other end of the spectrum, I once worked with a girl who had a bachelor's degree and asked me how to spell "apost to." After my blank stare, this gem of a conversation followed:

The customer who walked in with three kids, sat at a table and asked one of my servers, "Do you guys have nachos?" (I'd like to point out that he would have walked directly by the sign on the front of the building that read "authentic Italian thin-crust pizza") The server informed him that we did not, but we did have…

That crunchy allergy. I just... how do you even arrive at that conclusion in your life? And is crispy just a light crunch?

On the wine:

"Anything crunchy I am allergic to."

WARNING: May contain trace amounts of Italian food.

Nude bras are of a color that blends somewhat with your skin, so you can wear light-colored tops without WHITE BRA screaming through the fabric (this especially happens in photos.) obviously dark bras are also incompatible with light shirts.

As a former dance mom, it bothered me that all of the dancers had to wear the same "nude" color tights, because I thought it looked odd on the other girls who weren't the color of Casper.

As someone who once ate the Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's, I too understand how it feels to triumph over seemingly insurmountable odds and survive.

Jason Whitlock is a racist (yes) turd. He is Vaginal Dryness incarnate.

The Prince was born on my birthday, and I'm distantly related to Princess Diana. I think its a sign. I'm not sure yet a sign of *what*, but a sign nonetheless!

Hmmm...I seem to remember sports commentators saying Serena was too old and too out of shape/fat/not hot enough for their boners. I'm looking at you Whitlock.

I like that gif of Kanye acting like a normal human being while his wife is playing at being a fancy goose on the airplane.

I am happy for the royal couple because they seem to actually like each other and their son. It is so far away from the dynastic marriages that were the norm even just three generations ago or the ruinous "appropriate" matches of the last generation. Love is always good.

What is this? Miley, I think you're doing glitter wrong, it looks like a rash. Here, honey, here's some hydrocortisone.