Oh, okay then. Here goes.

“I’m not a heartless, child-kicking racist.”

My husband and I toured the Paris Catacombs. It was one of the pivotal experiences in my life - I emerged with a profound acceptance of my own mortality, along with some insight into the darker side of human nature. While we were in there, we saw a woman (an American, sunnysunny-blond, moneyed, extremely entitled) pry…

Me and my sisters went to catholic school for a year when we were little because we were living in an area where my parents didn’t feel great about the public schools. (We’re not catholic.)

Well this is a story of my grandfather at a moment of great family sadness and pain.

She’s not my hero. She drove drunk and is choosing to make light of her punishment instead of accepting the consequences.

My mother was abusive as hell, and I avoid interacting with her whenever possible. Not all mothers and daughters need to hang, Mama Stodden.

right? that sounded really messed up. Like it’s called adulthood....if you never seperate from your parents there is something wrong with you, and your parent.

“I do not believe mothers and daughters should be separated.”

Shortly after I moved to Atlanta, one of my co-worker’s daughters got pregnant at age 16 and somehow managed to have an abortion without parental knowledge or consent.

I’ve been to three funerals in my life, but my great grandmother’s funeral when I was seventeen has to be the weirdest/most uncomfortable one of them all.

After being dead for 18 years, my father in law still has a stalker.

This story is one that happened to a friend’s family. My friend’s father is an incredibly well-spoken, intelligent guy, so when his father died, he was chosen to give the eulogy.

I went to a funeral for a teenager and the service sheet was written in Comic Sans.

So a week after I started this job, a guy who no longer worked at the publication I worked for died in a car accident. I never met him, and he was a copy editor so it wasn’t like I was familiar in any way with him through what he wrote.
But nevertheless, the EOC said everyone needed to go. So I went. And somehow the…

FTW: my husband and I went to our former boss’ mother’s funeral. After his sister read a ‘poem’ about their mother—which was just a ten minute long list of things she liked (She liked the color blue. She liked smoking cigarettes...)- our former boss stepped to the front of the room and hit play on a small, old school…

I am going to keep this one short and sweet.

I mean, shit, I don’t even DRIVE. I can continue NOT DRIVING because my husband does the heavy lifting of DRIVING whenever we have to DRIVE somewhere.

I have to say, I do not think that this is true in my marriage. My husband can handle all of the basics, pay the bills, etc. etc.; I’m more worried about what would happen if he died unexpectedly, because there’s no way I can support his mother, the baby and myself in our current house on just my income.

HARD PASS.