People pay him to not have sex with them. He's standard issue nerd: overweight and sloppy.

My cousin gets weird/funny texts since his government issue Blackberry number use to belong to a male hooker.

Is it murder if I kill Kim Kardasian? If yes, then she should be prosecuted for espionage. If no, then I'm heading off to the local gun shop.

I'm still rocking the old MX Revolution. Great feel in the hand. I use the Anywhere VX when I'm traveling because most places have shinny surfaces. The Anywhere VX is about the only mouse (other than the Performance MX) that will track on glass well.

If you're only pooping 3 oz/day there's something wrong with you.

I thought Amazon would be buying it. I mean Amazon is setting up to split from Google's development, they might as well get an OS of their own.

Dude, they live underground, nuking it from orbit won't get all of them. You need hunter-killer micro-bots to seek out every single last one of them.

I can't remember the last time I bought a Blu-ray/DVD for myself. I buy them for my goddaughter, she just loves to Disney movies.

yup, I've dropped my 4S 3 times since I got it. From above 2 feet onto a restaurant tile floor, bathroom tile, and concrete. The 4S seems to be a lot slipperier than my old 3GS.

I'm surprise by the estimated cost too. Then I remember how government projects work. You pitch a good price for the project, then it take years for approval and funding. Once you get started it balloons to 4-5x the original estimate, but you have to get the additional funding to finish or else you would have a big…

I asked Siri about her favorite color and she said it was kinda green but more multidimensional.

I had to use it last week. Came in very handy and after an hour I was back to normal. I don't know what happened but it booted into system recovery. Process worked much better than it did in Vista or WinXP.

I still see plenty of WEP. Most of those cases are from very old routers or really cheap people (like my cousin). He doesn't enable WPA2 on his router because his laptop from 2003 only has WEP and he's too cheap to get an external USB Wifi.

That looks like the graph for a bubble economy. Eventually, it's going to crash and it's not going to be pretty.

I liked the YF-23 more. It just looked cooler.

Shredding books to observe copyright. And I was about to send in my signed copy of Principia Mathematica.

I call Episode I: The Phantom of C-SPAN.

Forget the barometer, the future is a Geiger Counter sensor in our phones. So we can predict the wave of zombies. That's assuming they were created by a nuclear fallout and not through a virus.

I can't believe he wussed out on that statement. He should say something like "The Apple of 1997 is nothing like the Apple of today. It shows that with the right product and development, any company can come back from near death. At Dell, we work hard to deliver on the needs of the customer and there have been…

"size does not equal value" that's not what she said. Sorry couldn't help it.