i wish joe paterno was alive so that he could die in prison for this

it’s a good reminder that memory is fallible and that the media loves pouncing on fun stories with little-to-no fact checking

I look forward to continuing my time-honored tradition of not watching this show.

Actually, I am surprised someone had the balls to report him.

LOL! Racism is an “American” problem.

Speaking of motherfuckers: That’s what comes out of my mouth when the hypersensitive Uber ad magically opens and redirects to the App Store ten times an hour. WTF, Deadspin? Didn’t we already suffer through this for eons with the hairtrigger Miller Lite ad?

“I’m sorry for that thing I did. I mean, yeah, I knew it was wrong, which is why I did it in a sneaky way, and then lied about it. But I went ahead and did it anyway, and really enjoyed myself, and had an experience that relatively few people got to have, even though it was clear that it was intended for people other…

Well God’s wrath had to go somewhere now that He’s cool with Cleveland.

This debate raised an important question, in my mind: when will private citizens *finally* get own drones equipped with Hellfire missiles?

Well that’s going to be good for basketball, in the same way that knowing Bruce Willis is actually dead makes watching the Sixth Sense more enjoyable.

*Cavaliers and Warriors meet in the finals for the rest of eternity*

As a bald guy who’s been fat since grade school, let me say two things:

Here’s the thing, I don’t care if each ball is special to him, he’s a jerk. He’s taken a cool, random part of baseball and distilled it into his own brand of ego fuel. I hope he suffers a career ending injury, somehow involving his asshole. When a grown man takes a foul ball away from a kid, he’s just a bad person.

Just gonna leave this here.....

It will all make sense when Rose and Noah are both injured for a majority of the season.

Yeah it makes perfect sense. The Knicks overpaying washed up, injury prone veteran discards from other losing teams.

If masturbation is a field, I’m a Field Marshal.

I imagine if Manziel’s next hearing lasts for too long, his legal team won’t be the only ones experiencing withdrawal.

It sounds like the ghost of Sam Kinison was in attendance.

Cleveland is no longer a sports pejorative. Let it go. You'll have to move onto Milwaukee, Buffalo or San Diego for that now.