I know it’s not manners, but it by Gawd works. True story: If you ever have a cyst or nodular acne issue the size of a nickel on your face, and someone asks you in the checkout line “What happened to your face?”, a great response is “I was born with this face. What happened to yours?”

“The last person who asked me about this scar doesn’t do much asking about anything...any more”

“This scar is from a lady last year who fought like a Comanche.”

If you’re not totally comfortable just telling her to cram it, you can always sarcastically say it was an attempted axe murder or something equally absurd. That usually shuts them up.

Hoooooooooooooly shit she’s bad. That is some soulless line reading.

Director: “Bristol, I want you to deliver your lines as a robot would. It needs to be as awkward as delivering an out-of-wedlock baby on stage in the middle of an abstinence rally in which you are the keynote speaker.”

Oh. I was actually hoping that would be the clip where she said “Abstinence is not realistic” only to have Sarah Palin practically jump in front of her to proclaim “don’t have sex until you’re married!”

Can you take a friend with you who can say “Woah, that’s totally inappropriate!”? Because I would be that friend.

She obviously has no problem embarrassing you, or making you cry. Telling her to mind her own business would NOT make YOU the bad person here. I’m sure everyone around you is sick of this nosy harpy as well.

Meh.

I don’t know if it’s scary, or just a sign that it’s been a long time since the last debate, that Trump’s drop in the polls seems to have totally leveled out:

Ugh tell me about it. I’d love to be able to sell my crap at the price it’s actually worth rather than what the cheapo resellers force me to list. I actually had someone balk at a $10 item that was CUSTOM MADE FOR THEM. Jeeze. Handmade isn’t cheap.

Trump never pulls out. He’s planting the seed for a better tomorrow.

You two are both cool STOP FIGHTING.

This is like the weird arguments ultraorthodox Jews have about whether it’s okay to drink tap water, because there are incredibly microscopic crustaceans that sometimes make it through the filters, and because they’re technically crustaceans, tap water might not be kosher.

So grasshopper tacos are OK?

What the shit Meryl??

Yep. That’s right. It’s from”Himself”. I need to dig out that DVD and destroy it.

They take 12% of each of your sales and charge a monthly fee. I was actually looking at it because as one of the first 1000 sellers on etsy, I don’t like what it’s become, but the amount Amazon expects coupled with a buying community that’s gonna expect an Amazon-like turnover made me think again.