My wife was sick every single day of her pregnancy. I felt so bad for her. Everyone kept saying, “wait until the third trimester, you’ll feel great! You’ll be glowing!” Nope, still sick. I mean we can’t complain about the end result but I totally sympathize.

“I really feel upset, not only with myself, but also with the character that was based off of the comments that my friends made,” Roth said. “I feel as if, not only has poor Cayden been victimized but also myself for being targeted.”

My wife would agree with her. Pregnancy can be miserable for some women. It’s one of several reasons why we never had a second child.

That’s like saying he’s the most delicious part of a gas station hot dog.

I don’t know that I really have a “best friend” anymore. At 38, I’m much more focused on my family anyway. I have some good friends, but nothing like that... which I’m okay with to be honest.

Oh, it definitely applies to him. He was in those horrendous Star Wars prequels.

Yeah, the Aberdeen part is just a huge red flag. You’d think she would have at least Googled it and seen that they speak English there or something.

Are you also teaching him to say, “chrome!”

I lost my best friend that way. He asked to borrow $400 from me, I didn’t have it to spare but he was my best friend (and the best man at my wedding), so I asked my mother if she could do it. After a while, he stopped making excuses about paying it back and started pretending he already did. I cut off all contact with…

“How beautiful is your picture Audrey,” the message read. “My name is Duke, I am from Aberdeen do you know where? I am a Mechanical Engineer with Transocean. I have a son named Kevin and by the Grace of God I will meet that someone again.”

There are 30,000 former HP employees who are all, apparently, liars.

These kids today with their Mollies...

Maybe it’s because I’m not the most touchy-feely person in the world (hugging people I don’t know very well feels awkward as hell to me), but I can’t imagine why anyone would come up to someone they don’t know and start touching their hair. That’s so fucked up. Don’t touch strangers!

“What war on women?” ask the Republicans.

I don’t know about a Corvette, but you could definitely get a nice vacation out of a few bottles of the right stuff... http://www.ebay.com/itm/Chanel-Ver…

Not to mention nipples.

Not just that, but apparently you can sell unused nail polish of brands/colors no longer available for serious bank on eBay.

That’s my excuse too! Or at least it will be now.

Aha. Mystery solved. Thank you!

For a lot longer than it would take a non-stupid person, I couldn’t figure out why Janet Jackson had a song about the Ice Capades.