He's just faking it to get pussy, man. "Ireland" is just the name of America's whiskey distillery.

Honestly, if Texas is an F, what the fuck is Saudi Arabia? Q-?

The only way a Jezebel author would agree with a C-rating from this study is if Obama himself would magically appear in your home, wave a wand, and make your fetus disappear.

We're not saying our laws are on par with either of the places you totally just made up.

So, if Saudi Arabia is an F and the United States is a C, what's a D?

Also, it's a dermatological condition that, from what I've read of first-hand accounts, can render so much pain that it is nearly impossible to walk, and makes it excruciating to even sit. This is like saying third degree burns are a dermatological condition, or being decapitated is chronic neck pain. I was nice to…

I can't walk down a sidewalk or stop and admire the scenery without someone either attacking me or calling the cops on me.

I knew literally everything you just said. Hopes fulfilled. Are there any other wishes I could grant you? Within the realm of possibility, you understand. I mean, I can't do the impossible.

Do you think it's possible that since your body is already technically in a constant war with one virus, it's made it more difficult for your body to fight this virus; a "war on two fronts" scenario?

See, I haven't gotten the flu in (knock on wood) at least four years. Maybe my perception of how other people experience flu is skewed.

Let's just go down your list and disprove all the bullshit you just let slide out of the shit-soaked mind between your ears:

"So do fucking salads, you nut."

Yeah, but when I start jerking off into my own milkshakes, you people are all disgusted and appalled. Pft, fucking misandrists.

But, faced with having herpes or having the flu, would you stick with your herpes?

Maybe I misunderstand herpes, but I'm not so sure that something which will burn my genitals at random intervals for the rest of my life, and will inhibit my sex life*, is "better" than coughing, sneezing and drinking OJ for a week. I had the flu last week, even over the weekend (which was a bummer), but now I'm fine,…

Does he know the extent of the physical pain you go through to share that with him?

It isn't required for consoles because you were never given a choice to run anything at max settings, nor would you be able to upgrade them if you wanted to.

I love it when cunts punctuate sentences with a sarcastic smile. :)

I mean, you do what you can, when you can. No one can point fingers at you for not trying.

They are waiting for the company to tank, then they'll "Break Glass in Case of Bankruptcy."