Yeah, don't forget both of the guys who think that way. They totally justify all these bullshit anti-piracy measures, and the vaguely classist comments filling up this article.

No, I'm not going to make my life any more miserable by being poor AND bored, when I could just be poor. I've got enough shit in my life to be worrying about, and a few pirated video games (until I can save the money to purchase them) are one of the only things I can do to relax after coming home from a shitty job and…

Yeah, but I'm actually. fucking. poor. So, your whole, "that's been said a million times" rebuttal doesn't really matter, because it's entirely possible that there are a million people who can't afford a $60 game. I'm sorry that your friend was a cheap dick, but just because you hang out with cheap dicks doesn't make…

I'm fairly broke 99% of the time from paying bills, so when I pirate a game, they are in no way losing money, because I never had any money to give. It's not a case of paying to play or stealing to play, it's more like stealing to play or I just won't play your game. I buy games I like when I have the money, even if…

Tucker Carlson (conservative commentator) / Boko Haram (terrorist scumbags) / White House security / upskirt pics

Didn't you guys write an article on this same situation a few months ago?

a.k.a., fuck off. Have a star.

I did. The reply I got was, "We'll contact her and look into it." No idea what, if anything, happened after that.

But, Jezebel, what do I do if the d̶i̶c̶k̶ cunt in my office doesn't have a dick?

It's just a metaphor for big dicks.

This game is horrible and offensive. I need to cleanse my mind by playing Postal 2, where I will steal a neighborhood cat, shove a gun up the cat's ass, walk into a grocery store, piss in the manager's mouth, then when he gets angry, I'll murder everyone in the grocery store with my cat-anus-assault rifle and when the…

I lost my virginity to a girl everyone now calls "Trashley." To her face. She is universally hated, for very valid reasons.

It's just part of the job. Do Taco Bell employees get weirded out when they see what their beef looks like uncooked? Yeah, probably, but it's just a job.

Then you have a small imagination. Simply putting your dick in a woman's butt while another man puts his dick in her vagina has nothing to do with bi or homosexuality. For some, it's about power. For some, it's about reveling in decadent debauchery. For some, they like having sex with another man involved. Only one of…

Let's ask 1,507 Jezebel commenters if they think it was race related. I wonder how many white Jezebel commenters would say that it wasn't.

Can you explain what he meant by "the most basic concepts of statistics"? What concept is he talking about?

Mozart Boobs Twerk Girl and Person Who Once Wrote A Single Article About Aforementioned Mozart Boob Twerking.

What, exactly, does he think the accusations against Cosby preventing us from talking about? Ferguson is still in the news, along with Eric Garner, ISIS, Al-Qaida, the CIA torture report, and an endless volume of vacuous reality TV bullshit. Does he think the entire world can only focus on one problem at a time?

"I'm skeptical of critics because of a blatant lack of accountability and journalistic integrity that I have personally witnessed, but Gamergate is about oppressing women because men are scared vaginas are taking their video games away."

All of the, "Just because a dude is literally begging her to sleep at his house despite not having hung out with her the entire time you've known her, doesn't mean he wants to fuck her. I have a friend that I don't want to fuck," shit in the comments is ridiculous.