Actually, I knows what and I'm not even God. That thing that's baffling you is called a meat grinder. It grinds meat. I'm sorry if the pace scares you, but if it was Bob the Butcher in there with a turn-crank grinder, nuggets would become more precious than gold due to the low volume produced and the time it takes to…

What, you've got something against chicken breast? It's ground chicken. You can buy it in the super market as a HEALTHIER alternative to ground beef. Are you some kind of new, weird sub-set of hipster who only eats their meat in its natural form?

Man, look at this cheap AI. How are you even supposed to counter that??

Alright, let me take off my respectful and inquisitive hat and put on my sarcastic jackass hat...

Oh man, am I glad I met you! Everyone, Allas is the standard to which all life is measured! If he sees a problem, then by God, there is one! ALL HAIL ALLAS!

Sound familiar, asshole?
(Insert gif that makes it look like I give…

"That is what I mean by cheap and predictable. There is only one way to defeat each boss, and that is it. You do it the way you are told and if you don't you get the hose. That isn't fun. At all."

Once again, that is not my experience. I've played through the game as a nimble rogue, a brutish barbarian, a defensive…

I never had a problem with the controls. It took me the first hallway to grasp the entire concept.

I never considered the AI to be cheap. After a period of blocking and noting attack patterns, it's only a matter of not getting overwhelmed, which is a fault of the player, not the game.

Honestly, I don't even think Dark…

Well, I certainly can't imagine a grown man, which I assume you are, finding a 15 year old "sexy for her mind," which would lead me to also assume that any interest would be purely for your own sexual gratification. I equate that to considering them a sex object.

It would be relevant if you said, "Yes, I find 15 year old girls to be sexually attractive both physically and conceptually." It would have shown your entire argument to be biased and that you, perhaps, were not defending art, but rather your urge to have sex with young girls. It does convey a bit of information,…

I didn't see anyone pose this question earlier:

Do you find 15 year old girls sexually appealing? Remember, finding them sexually appealing is NOT a crime in any country, so long as you don't act on it.

I'm assuming the only slippery slopes Wyrdwad condones are the hot, soapy tits of supple 15 year old girls.

Alternate gibe: All this uproar over some guy who wants to blow his Wyrdwad all over a fake 15 year old girl in a bikini? Calm down, guys!

Seriously, how did Kotaku find this many people to defend 15 year old…

Bump bump bump bump it up!

That headline isn't a euphemism—people are actually getting high on an actual drug called "Nintendo." A potent club drug bearing the name and logo of the famed Japanese video game company has been spotted by drug watchdogs in Belgium. It sounds like it'll get you high as fuck, too.

Sorry, brother, I'm going to have to stop you right there.

If you're buying "ecstasy" after being told it's MDMA and some other amphetamine, you're ripping yourself off. (Good) Ecstasy should be nothing but MDMA and whatever binder they used to keep it pressed into pill form, since MDMA on its own won't retain shape…

Chess Grandmaster beats amateur player without much effort!

1v1 me on Shipment, bro.

They're in there with their bear.

There, I said it.

Most of the incidents have something to do with Valve games fusing or swapping with each other. It's weird. Naturally, though, not everyone is experiencing problems with Valve games right now. But if you are? Good news, chief. There's a fix.

Saga Frontier. So old and good.
Candy Crush Saga. So new and not really worth worrying about.

Ok, you had your Contrarian fun...

We all knew what the headline "meant," we just didn't want to split hairs over something so silly and inconsequential, that collectively we understood the implication of. Some people like videos on the internet. Some people like arguing over nothing.

You confused me, so I'm just going to continue having sex with my girlfriend and playing video games.

My new wallpaper.