Imagine the poor boyfriend. “I said I wanted strippers, not scriptures.”

Canadian.

Lutheran or Canadian?

My husband once pissed me off before a flight. I stared out the window in silence for three hours, out the bus window for one hour and then through a 30 minute information session at the hotel, before finally continuing our fight once ensconced in our room. These people need to be sentenced to a rage repression…

i plan to

Only write about this forever okay thanks

“Forcing dozens of women to go and perform for this man is without a question going to be problematic.”

.... haven’t pulled this one out in a while, but; Dear Mr. Lasner and Dear Husband of Mr. Lasner,

Fine. I’m going with the LYCOPENISES

Oh this totally makes up for Hillary losing, I’m fine now.

Throw in some flesh-colored stubble and you’ve got Jeffrey Dahmer.

past life regression therapis....

I’m imagining something like a salty aquarium and wondering who would actually want their house to smell like that.

A MOTHERFUCKING CANDLE COSTS THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS!?!?

I just feel actively bad all the time

I feel actively bad for Tiffany.

thats haht...

I don’t know. That’s gonna need a huge amount of shiplap.