Walruses just wanna get down:

i honestly can’t tell you the last time i heard a good martin luther joke so

Jim Bob is asking Jesus for advice right now, and Jesus is all

And there’s the words:

I am fucking mad.

your burner name is my life blood

The story about the cancer-free anniversary “date” is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever read. That’s some Ralph Wiggum/Lisa Simpson shit right there.

Straight dudes fall in love with each other all the time. And so do straight women. The question we really want to be asking is not if they are in love but if they are bumpin uglies.*

I can only sleep on a bed made of whipped cream, so I get it.

I’m still like........

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I KNOW YOU ARE A TROLL BUT THIS IS THE BEST/WORST ATTEMPT ANY TROLL HAS EVER MADE LIKE

I found myself surprised that I was upset that during the rape they showed only Theon’s face. The only thought I had was “way to make a woman getting raped all about how a man feels.”

Can we talk about the costumes?

“ Meanwhile, this was in my inbox this morning: “

“So what’s the Diehl with sexting interns?”

I BIND YOU, SONY, FROM DOING HARM. HARM AGAINST OUR TEENAGE SELVES AND HARM AGAINST YOURSELF.

The Craft is my LIFE!!!

It’s cool, you can join our group. We’re the World’s Okayest Moms- and we’ve got the mugs to prove it. (sorry that the picture is giant and fuzzy) Here’s your welcome bouquet.