There may be no one thing as hair-pullingly myopic as a college soph walking around with a dog-eared copy of “The Fountainhead“ in their back pocket while railing away about all of the utter unfairness he or she has endured in their life as yet unlived.

This is a terrible decision, too many youngsters overlook the torment that caffeine can cause.

I’m still scared shitless of being caught by my kid doing something im not supposed to because of that commercial. Made me paranoid for life.

Fuck yeah!

I can’t wait for the yearly announcement of the winner of the Nobel Profanity Prize. It’s always such a rich field of deserving potential honorees.

“I learned it from watching you!”

Is it possible the douche with the mic intentionally called the obvious girl a boy because he wanted to insult a kid wearing a hippie-dippy tie-dye t-shirt?

Is it possible this girl called him a fucking idiot for referring to her as a “young man” and not anything to do with it being infowars?

Would’ve been funnier if the conversation with the pearl-clutching beat “reporter” didn’t go like this:

*cough* Arrested Development *cough*