Not sure where you’re from, but stopping (even on the hard shoulder) is gambling with your life in California. People are stupid, people are distracted, people like to swerve INTO the shoulder to use it as a travel lane unexpectedly. Fuck that....you call the CHP and go “hey I got a video of an accident where can I…

My hands are moving fine, but I can’t seem to move my jaw...

I think you could get tetanus just from looking at the picture.

ahahahhahahhahahhahhahhahaaaaa........i think i need another tetanus jab now

Fifteen.

- iPhone
- “your phone’s battery might need to be replaced”

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Excuse me while I toy with me brand new battery for me trusted good ol’ LG G4. 

*HUE HUE HUE*

Well the obvious answer is to just pop out the old batter..... oh wait.

Maybe he thought it was low on blinker fluid

worth the purchase if it’s hardtop. Worthless as a convertible.

We used to do that as kids as well, have some neat flattened coins as a result

More than 100K on the odometer... CHECK

Yeah, I heard that could happen in an episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Although in that episode the train didn’t derail.

Hahahahahahaha, oh my God.

I flippin love polenta!

If you’re wife or s/o is eating the placenta, you apparently haven’t listened to the time tested advice of “never stick your dick in crazy”.

Schrödinger’s car

Oh, rats. I thought this article was about identifying female perps in a criminal line up!

I live in Poland now. I have a choice of at least 5 ISPs that I know of :D

“No detergents that contain animal fats”

Accomplish a reverse pass! Left signal on, merge into next lane, brake so tailgater passes you on the right, right signal on, merge back into the slow lane behind him.