If we actually supported the troops, we’d pay them better, stop shoving them into meat grinders all over the world, and properly fund the VA.

As much as I love scandal, given his complete inability to form coherent English sentences, I’m just gonna chalk this up to him not talk so good.

It’s the very same people who say ‘why didn’t he just comply’ that are the first to say the ‘cops feared for their lives.’

That wasn’t a racist dogwhistle. It was a fucking foghorn that spits out little Confederate flags and mayo packets.

Learn how to read a room, Becks.

OK, here goes: I wouldn’t put my tiny flesh tickles into my hyper drive of TTdadhiasn hate for Consurvytives.

That’s like the NBA All Star game of evil motherfuckers 👀

I don’t know. What if the hamster was named popcorn?

Well that two-timin ass...!

You’re overthinking this. Just play the national anthem.

I’m a little disappointed that when I clicked on the headline for this article, the entire body wasn’t just the word: “Yes.”

This sucks in a way that’s hard to put into words. Halladay is someone I’d have driven to Cooperstown to see his induction. A personal hero from back when I still had those.

The Next Matt Stares

While Anderson Cooper and his guests wrung their hands over this on CNN last night, the ticker at the bottom the screen made a one sentence mention of the fact that the Feds are defunding a project that studies the health impact of mountaintop removal mining in Appalachia. Maybe that should have been the lead story.

I fail to see how this is a 1st Amendment issue. These guys are terrorists. We wouldn’t have to let Isis speak, why these guys (rhetorical question)?

Why are you making such a big deal. Aren’t all things nothing to you.

I have like three racist bones in my body. I’m always complaining about them, but the rest of the bones won’t do anything about it. Two of them are real assholes and one of them is passive aggressive as shit. I don’t know, every time I think about yanking them out the other bones get all protective. Deep down, I…

He stopped recording before the best part:

I love the idea I get from the title that it’s a bro whale who’s like “Oh, you fishin’? I got you, bro. Hold my beer and watch THHHHIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS!!!!”