Republicans Rule Book...

As the resident Kansan in the room...I apologize to the nation on behalf of my stupid, ass backward state. We never learn from our mistakes, and will continue to fuck the rest of you over. Again I apologize.

Seriously. Why the fuck do I have to pay for his testicular cancer screenings? Why do I have to pay for anything that doesn’t affect me directly? I pave my own roads and teach my own schools and put out my own fires too! I AM AN ISLAND AND MY ISLAND HAS NO MAN-PARTS.

How would you feel about losing your balls, Pat Roberts?

Hillary Clinton.

Past, alas, but —

Chris Murphy.

I needed to leave some space for you. Love her.🏮

Joseph Kennedy III.

Here you go, an early, early X-mas present.

Uncle Joe

Patty Murray! She is my girl. She told the Republicans that negotiating with them was like dealing with a preschool class.

Tammy Duckworth

Girl, you did not just leave out Maxine Waters...

Rep. John Lewis is a a gem, a beautiful angel-man, a national treasure whose ongoing commitment to justice and sacrifices for this nation we will never remotely deserve.

A ray of sunshine in the darkness.

He’s gonna end up deep-throating his foot. Wait for it.

Vinny Testaverde or Boomer Esiason Or Neil O’Donnell Or Ray Lucas Or Browning Nagle or Ken O’Brien Or Glenn Foley or Bubby Brister or Kellen Clemens or... Dear god make it stop!!

I hid my love of Céline for many, many years. Now that I’m an old I can say without a trace of shame that the Céline show I went to this summer was one of the best I’ve ever been to.

I want to frame this comment and put it above my co-worker’s desk. The one who always gets put in charge of training new people, but fucks off on Youtube all day and doesn’t get shit done, leaving it all for other people to do instead?